Xmas is over

I had another one of those epic dreams last night that seem to go on forever,
you wake up in the middle of it, and it continues when you fall asleep again.
In this one, the company I work for had organised a trek through the desert. For everyone and it was compulsory. (viper if you are reading this, you made a cameo appearance. For some reason you decided to join us and afterwards disappeared off to eastern europe for some sort of orgy) I don't remember much of the trek - just the sand - and we all piled into tents afterwards for a meal. The whole thing reminded me of the school fun runs we used to have.

The stranger part of my dream was that I was running some kind of zoo in my back garden. It was a very small garden, with a circle of cages running around it, I had a lion, baboons, a gorilla, and other animals that I don't quite remember. I also had a chipmunk.Sadly,it died. The baboon also got sick - but I managed to nurse it to health.

I am so glad that Christmas is over. I ate solidly for three days, so much so that I seem to be permanently hungry. I also lost 2 pounds - I must have a tapeworm. I did pretty well for Christmas this year - I am now the proud owner of a purple candlyfloss maker (a machine which totally exercises ones patience), a chocolate fondue kit, that candy g-string that I asked Santa for (untested), glow-in-the-dark seamonkey aquarium (brings back terrible memories of my uni days) and of course, what every fashionable girl needs, a guide to Minge Topiary.
Oh, and I also got the LOTR Extended Edition box set that I have been waiting 3 years for. That should fill up any spare 12 hours I have going.

So that's it. 2 more days until the end of 2004. And what a year it's been! Probably the busiest and most memorable year of my life. I started this year dodging fireworks in the Czech Republic, I'll be finishing it in a cottage in the West Country - a friend of mine will be bringing his 7ft power kite so watch out - anyone living in Devon :)

Twas the night before Xmas

There are 10 minutes of Christmas Eve left. I find myself wishing that I was someplace else. Despite the fact that we're all supposed to be jolly and festive, I feel less happy than on any normal day.

There is something about Christmastime that makes me feel awfully dejected and lonesome. It's not that I'm alone, my family are at home, but at this time of year I often find myself feeling lonely even though I am surrounded by people. I wonder if that will ever change? I wonder if perhaps it means that I am disconnected from my family, that we are on different wavelengths. Or if it's just this particular holiday.

I also feel wretched as I have been suffering from a cold for 2 days. I haven't been sick at Christmas since 1999 when I had tonsilitis and laryngitis in one hit.

So I'm sitting here trying to think of the things that comfort me when I'm feeling low. My piano. Lying on top of the bed with music on full volume and the lights off. A bath scented with lavender bubbles - temperature so hot I can barely stand it.
Jelly and whipped cream from a can....

2 days and counting

My worldly colleagues explained the 'Wingman' principle to me last night. I guess it could also be called the 'pack pulling' technique. I was rewarded later by not only seeing this technique in action, but by actually experiencing it first-hand.

The principle is simple. Guys pull in pairs, one guy acts as 'wingman' and diverts the attention of the the girl accompanying the 'victim' so that his friend can work his magic on the girl he wants to chat up.
It's a noble sacrifice though I suppose it can also be rewarding for the wingman if the friend is attractive.

My own experience was enlightening to say the least. Whilst chatting to two girlfriends who happened to be having their christmas party locally, a smooth talking guy sidles up and starts on one of my friends. Obviously wanting to broaden his chances of success, he attempted to lure me into his web at the same time. Not wanting to be unsociable, we relented and asked his name and profession to be told that his name was Barry and that he was a dancer. Not just any old dancer but 'MC Hammer' no less. Ever the sceptics, we asked for a demonstration and
were very much disappointed by his moves. Minutes later, his 'friend' appears (with a pint) and pretends to prise Barry away. Unsuccessful, he starts to apologise to me on behalf of Barry and introduces himself. At this point I find out that Barry's real name is actually Dave (?!). Busted!
This duo moved on later to another couple of girls but only managed to hold their attention for 5 minutes.
Guys - it pays to show a little honesty!

Whilst waiting for a tube train home, a guy sitting on the same seat as me remarked on the presents I was holding. Amused (and drunk), I described my gifts - one of them being a small jar of sand from the Sahara that my best friend gave me. I expressed curiosity on the colour of the sand as my memories of the Sahara were of grey sand, and not the beautiful yellow sand in the jar that I was holding. This guy, who was also drunk, told me that he had read recently in a book that the climatic changes in the desert meant that the colour of the sand could change,
and also told me that apparently sand can hold water which means that it is possible for plants to grow seasonally. I haven't as yet verified the facts that he told me but it was kind of surreal to have this kind of conversation when both parties are drunk. We had a further chat on the train about the evolution of men versus animals
and how life boils down to simple binary logic. I never found out this guys name, (although he told me all his children's names), but nevertheless I wish him a very happy Christmas and New Year.

Subtitled in..

It seems that foreign language films have featured pretty heavily on my viewing choices recently.
After the frustrating non-end to the Danish The Kingdom, I followed it up with Luc Besson's La Femme Nikita on Saturday evening. It was the first time I'd seen it - though I have watched the remake (The Assassin avec Bridget Fonda)
quite a few times. The original is, of course, far superior to the remake with exception of Gabriel Byrne who makes a more enigmatic Bob.

Last night I moved to a somewhat more obscure film directed by Jan Svankmajer (Czech) called Little Otik. Now this film was weird.
A similar kind of story to Pinnochio, the film is based on a story about a couple who are infertile but really want a baby. The guy digs up a tree stump which looks a bit like a baby and prunes it down to make arms and legs... It's less of a live action film than an animation with live action scenes - the stop motion sequences give the whole film a deliciously grotesque 'underground film' kind of feel.
I am definitely going to look up some of Svankmajer's other films.

On the opposite scale, I also revisited my childhood by watching a few episodes of Dungeons and Dragons, and Bananaman. They were bad. Especially Bananaman. Good grief, if I had only realised as a child just how camp he was. Still, there's a lesson to be learnt in that as an adult, you should never try to ressurect your childhood - leave them as fond memories! You'll never be able to work out jus t
why you used to love Angel Delight (artificial gunge posing as mousse), Rainbow (smutty kids program full of sexual innuendoes), and Global Hypercolour T-Shirts (which just highlighted how sweaty you were)

lady in red

Well that's the Xmas Party over once again. Much like last year, I left the party sober but this time I stayed until the very end.
Thirsty for more, we moved on for more drinking but despite having gotten home at 3am I still managed to get into work today feeling my usual chirpy self.

This years party was themed on Austin Powers - we had some guy dressed up as Austin, a very attractive Felicity Shagwell in a black catsuit and some
lovely ladies in black and white outfits. So we had dancing and we had drinking and some eating - it was all good fun and the only vicious rumour I have
heard this morning was that a certain lady in the office got rather intimate with the shoeshine guy... Though what the shoeshine guy was doing at the
party was anyones guess - he wasn't shining shoes that's for sure.
My nightmare with outfits was also unrealised - my red Karen Millen dress was very popular and I made some new friends whose names I don't remember.

I have a quiet weekend ahead, I'm on call and have to be up at 7am tomorrow to check our overnight processing so I don't expect to be up to
much. As I'm on call, that's my excuse to avoid Christmas shopping!
An unexpected blessing perhaps.

Starbucks and software design principles

I read this great article on boingboing.net - and I was impressed. Much could be said about that institution that is Starbucks but this is not what I would have had in mind.

It made me smile.. but I am a geek.

keeping wired

Intel is right up there in my estimation - purely for this link

It lists hundreds of wireless hotspots all over the world.
Coupled with this gadget (Kensington WiFi finder) and a wifi PDA or laptop, you're well and truly sorted.

Mmm I love gadgets..

dissatisfaction

Noooooooooooooooooo.....
That is so unfair. I've just watched the remaining two episodes of The Kingdom and not only does it not end, but there is a major cliffhanger. Furthermore, they never released the final part outside of Denmark.

Bastards.

I will now be haunted for the rest of the night by the visions of a woman giving birth to a full grown man.

Bovine Blues

Argh the dilemma of having to get up obscenely early in the morning but wanting to watch the end of a very interesting series...
I just watched 3 episodes of Lars Von Triers' "The Kingdom". Episode 3 has just ended on a bit of a cliffhanger and I really want to see how it ends but its almost 1am and I need to be up before 6 to get the train into London. I have bowed out and turned it off but the story and characters keep floating in my mind.
If I am unlucky I will dream about it tonight - and I say unlucky because it is a ghost story...

Haven't achieved anything whatsoever this weekend. I count that as a good thing. Today I had a roast dinner, marvelled at japanese womens wrestling on Sky, spent well over £20 trying to win £6000 on some dumb (highly lucrative) Sky quiz channel, and puzzled over my sick cow. The cow is not milking and in fact has not been 'milkable' since I bought it. Maybe she's sick.

Big feet - big shoes

Well at least Julian Clary didn't win. I was rooting for Denise Lewis personally but the majority was with the other couple.

I ended up watching Notting Hill again on channel 4. I do like this film a lot though it is an incredibly unlikely story. And I actually think Notting Hill is a bit of a dive. Guess you can glamourise just about anything and anywhere with the right camera angles ;)
Rhys Ifans is brilliant in this and for me, I thought that Gina Mckee outshone Julia Roberts in the beauty department.

Something that made me stop and think:- in the film Julia Roberts asks why men are so fascinated with breasts. I have always wondered that as well. They're fatty, functional appendages used for feeding babies. If someone could explain?

Aftermath of a christmas party

Our team christmas party last Thursday was truly excessive. I outdid myself on all counts.For my efforts I now have bruises down one side, my right bum cheek really hurts and I can't sit down without wincing. Walking is also difficult.

The venue for our drinks was the Medicine Bar in Shoreditch. I've never been there before - it's quite nice, 3 storeys with a DJ in the basement. We had the upstairs reserved for us. As it was a manager sponsored event - ie free drinks for us - we didn't hold back and started on the champagne. By now I'm thinking that I should probably have built up some sort of tolerance to that stuff but I got exceedingly inebriated anyway and ended up falling down the stairs. At the time I was more bothered about losing my champagne glass to the floor, by the time I got home I was starting to feel the pain.

The best and worst things about the 'day after' are hearing about the things that you allegedly did and said whilst grossly drunk. I was particularly embarrassed when my manager told me that he remembered picking me up off the floor at one point (absent from my memory), me feeding him pistachios whilst he was trying to talk, and me telling him how much I hated my last manager (who stills works for the bank). Plenty of blackmail opportunities there then.

So now I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend, I have come back to my weekend retreat in the country where everything shuts down at 5pm. I might have a little pasta, a glass of wine or two and settle in to the final of Strictly Come Dancing.
Please please please do not let Julian Clary win - he can't dance for beans.

in stasis

There's a knot at the pit of my stomach which doesn't seem to go away whatever I do. (and I don't think it has to do with that spicy bowl of noodles my brother just made me)

I think it's fear.

I am usually quite a confident person. I like to think that I know what I'm doing, what I want to be doing and what I need to be doing to achieve what I want from life. Today is different. I don't think I've ever felt so unsure of myself. I find myself questioning everything - does it really matter, is it really what I want, is it really that important to me. And I have no answers. I sometimes worry that I take life a little too seriously, that I always make the 'right' choices rather than trusting in my instincts.

I'm probably more than a little influenced by a friend I had dinner with the other night who has spent 18 months travelling around Asia and Australia. Listening to his stories about trekking in Nepal and learning to cook in Thailand I have the greatest urge to sell my house, quit my job and disappear for a year. I'd love to visit Cambodia, to travel through China, have fun in Australia, learn a new language or two. I'd love to do this before it's too late and I get too comfortable in my life. Fear holds me back. I'm torn between travelling, and quitting my job anyway to pursue something new, a dream of mine.

I have so many choices. So many possibilities. I'm petrified of heights, I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff peering over. I can retreat to safety or grab a parachute and make the jump. Or I can do what I feel like I'm doing now - stand and falter.

I used to be so scared of ending up having a 'mundane' life. So scared I sought a reverend for advice and counselling. Now I find it staring me in the face and I don't know which way to go.

Maybe I'll sleep on this.

Rebirth

I feel totally rejuvenated today. It's like the mist that has been hanging all around me suddenly cleared this morning and I am back to my usual self.
I didn't even realise how much I have changed in the last few months, not until this morning. I feel more confident, more focussed and more motivated than I have for a long time.

I haven't had the most exciting day really, my plans of cultivating my sense of culture was rudely disturbed by the sadly lacking IT skills of my mother, and so I have had to travel all the way to the Essex coast to fix up her pc. Not the best way to spend my Saturday, doing windows updates and installing virus software, but I guess spending time with family is pretty important. And it will definitely handy to be able to email my parents from work :)
Tonight, I will be expecting my dad to accompany me down to the casino where I will enjoy a nice dinner and ogle at the male croupiers, I mean play a few hands of poker.

No doubt tonight the essex flyboys will be out in full force with their Supra bodykits and shiny blue lights. I guess there is culture to be had anywhere :)

Yuletide feelings

It's been a long old day. Oddly, as soon as I left the house to go to work I felt somewhat more cheerful - but that was probably because I'd just walked past that inflatable snowman, who has now been joined by an equally awful inflatable Father Christmas.

My day at work was the worst Friday that I've had to endure for a long time, leading to the latest that I've had to stay in the office on a Friday for months. Still, I was able to maintain my usual cheerful self despite it all. Plus that greasy breakfast really helped :)

I was soo surprised in the afternoon when I received an email from that architect guy I met last night! Obviously I must have given him my email address as well and completely forgotten all about it. It turns out that his company also kitted out our latest office down the road... Oh well, I'm sure that it's always useful to know an architect or two.

Tomorrow I have the dubious pleasure of having to sort out my mum's PC. She is a broadband newbie (and a PC one at that) and was perplexed when she couldn't access any secure sites. Well, actually, she had no idea that was the problem but thats beside the point. I spent 30 minutes on the phone to her today during my lunch break trying to teach her how to logon to windows as admin and then doing a windows update. It was no go for the windows update and too painful for words for me to continue so I will have to pay her a visit instead :( At least she lives 5 minutes from the seaside... mmmmm fresh donuts!

Right, I am now off to cook myself some dinner and then watch a dvd.
I really fancy watching The Godfather all of a sudden..

Cocoon

Sometimes this blog feels like my lifeline. No matter how bad I feel, I can let the words flow and with each word that hits the screen, my stress diminishes.

Today, early in the morning after two nights of excess, I feel like retreating into a shell. I don't feel like talking to anyone and remorse has hit me like a tornado on an open plain. I'm not even sure that these words make sense but this therapy eases a little the confusion that I feel. I guess it was yet another big night for me, in fact if I really think about it I met some very interesting people. I have in my bag the email address of an architect currently working on a big project for Imperial College, whose small Xmas get-together I crashed when I saw their table of food :) Confronted by this guy when I stole a prawn cracker - he scolded me for being so selfish and not stealing food for my friends!

At a different point in the evening, I approached a guy sitting on his own for a cigarette - now I don't smoke but being somewhat drunk, when one of my party asked me to get a cigarette off a complete stranger I complied without even thinking. Now this guy was cool - he was like a Dixons sales person who got lucky and landed a job in real IT. He was apparently waiting for his girlfriend who was a stripper/pole dancer?? And yes he gave me a cigarette no questions - even when I said I didn't smoke :)

Despite all this I feel wretched, jaded and furious. I can't sleep so I am probably going to get up. That's even earlier than yesterday when I woke at 7am and got to work by 8.30! Today I am going to go to work, shut out the rest of the world with my iPod and have an early night snuggled with my stuffed panda.

I told you I was a team player

I had some trouble sleeping last night. Suddenly wide awake at 4am I contemplated actually getting up and perhaps reading a book or something but knowing that it would wreck any chances of doing anything constructive at work today I tried to go back to sleep. In actual fact, this is the best way of getting REM sleep - thus making sure that you have dreams. And dream I did....

In one part of my dream it was snowing. I was inside a building which looked a little like a school classroom with my brother, and housemate and some other people I don't remember. We started having a snowball fight with people downstairs outside the building. Somehow we were hanging out of the windows and making snowballs directly from the falling snow...

In a second part of my dream I was stood outside in a field, well technically, on a rugby pitch. I was surrounded
by the rest of my work team who were all kitted up. One of my colleagues was teaching me how to play rugby...
Incidentally he was a really good teacher and I scored my first try in minutes :)
Impressed, the rest of my team started debating teaching me how to scrum at which point I woke up. Probably just as well - not sure I really fancied it :)

Some stories have no morals

A little girl is skipping down the road holding a balloon. She loves this balloon - it's in the shape of a bunny and the ears flop up and down as she walks along. Suddenly, the little girl sees a lone balloon flying low across the road just up ahead. It's in the shape of a goldfish, it has a beautiful fantail streaming behind it. Mesmerised by the swishing tail, she runs after the goldfish with all the energy and speed she can muster.

Eventually, she manages to catch up with the goldfish balloon and she clutches it happily. She carries on down the road, skipping and singing. After a while, the two balloons start to get tangled up. The bunny ears get caught up in the goldfish tail and the little girl stops. She realises sadly that she cannot have both balloons and she must decide which one she wants to keep. She sits down on a rock and compares the two balloons.

The little girl sighs because she cannot decide. "Oh which one should I keep?" she says out loud.
"You must keep the bunny" says a little voice next to her. She looks down to see a small dog sitting by her feet.
"Why?" she asks.
"Because you don't know who the goldfish balloon belongs to. There could be another little girl running around trying to find her lost balloon.. "
The little girl pouts. She doesn't want to lose the fish balloon because she is fascinated by it's bright colours and swishing tail but she knows that the little dog is right.
"What shall I do with this balloon then?"
"You should go back to where you found it and let it go. Then either it's owner will find it, or it will find a new owner." The dog replies wisely.

The little girls sighs again and then nods. Giving the dog a pat on the head, she runs back to where she found the goldfish balloon, gives it a kiss goodbye and releases it. She feels sad to watch it float away but she is sure that
she did the right thing.

Alone with her bunny balloon again, she carries on down the road. She doesn't skip any longer but keeps an eye out for other little girls who may be looking for a goldfish balloon. Moments later, a very cute little girl appears coming
down the lane the other way. She has a large frown on her sweet face and as she gets closer, our little girl notices that this other little girl is covered in cuts and bruises.
"Excuse me!" says our little girl to the other little girl. The other little girl looks up and stops. She sees our little girl clutching a cute bunny balloon with floppy ears and suddenly goes berserk.
"You stole my balloon! How dare you! I've been looking and looking and looking for that balloon. Don't think that you're going to get away with this you thief!!"
The cute little girl with the cuts and bruises pulls out a big carving knife from her pocket and stabs our little girl in the heart. 10 times. As our little girl slumps to the ground, the cute little girl grabs the bunny balloon and disappears back down the lane, skipping.

I'm now late for work

Good god. Just woke from horrible nightmare - it was the day before the Christmas Party and I couldn't get ready. In my dream I actually must have tried on about 100 outfits and disliked them all. Reality check. It's really not that important. I obviously need to get out a little more.

It's interesting though how I had a nightmare about this when I watched a really nasty japanese horror the night before and didn't. Does that say something about my personality perhaps?

What not to wear

It's that time of year again. The Christmas Party.

I should be sensible enough not to worry about this. I mean, all the guys on my team just turn up to the party in whatever they were wearing to work that day. It's more difficult for the ladies. It's just not acceptable to do that so I have found myself thinking about what I need to wear these past two days.
Thankfully it's not a formal do, just smart casual is fine. I can be dressy if I feel like it. I've seen this gorgeous (if a tiny bit tarty) dress at Karen Millen that I am tempted to buy. It's bright red, satin, and backless. My dilemma is, I'd like to feel that I can wear what I like, whatever makes me feel confident, but I also don't want to er, attract too much attention from the rest of the team. I'd never hear the end of it! So I think I will probably wear something a little more conservative. With large splits down the side :P It was suggested the other night that I wear a bikini but I highly doubt I will following that particular piece of advice..

It's here

Wow! You can now buy Flip Flap in the UK!

where is that baseball bat?

I feel really distracted this afternoon. Can't quite concentrate on my work. Perhaps it has something to do with that enormous ebi curry I had at lunchtime..

My irritation levels have been quite high today as well. There is this annoying girl who sits behind me with the most irritating voice and she has been yakking away all morning about iPods and iBooks and other stuff which doesn't interest me so much. I left my iPod at home today since it didn't fit in todays handbag so I cannot drown her voice out.
In addition to that I am trying to break in a new pair of shoes and my feet are killing me.
I am tempted to pop down to the pub after work to de-stress but I keep remembering this article I read in the paper last week about how something like 70% of workers are turning to alcohol due to stress problems and I am determined not to be
part of that statistic :)

Bah humbug

One of the things that I hate about Xmas (in addition to the blatant commercialism of Christmastime in general) are the Christmas shoppers.

I popped into the West End yesterday to go to Hamleys. I wanted to buy my 13 year old cousin a birthday present. OMG what a mistake! Not only was the inside of the shop totally crowded but so was the pavement outside!! Still, I was determined to make a purchase so I bravely fought my way in. Luckily, I was rewarded by a man (or woman) dressed up as a giant Jelly Belly Jellybean who handed me some free jellybeans. Anyway, I managed to get my cousin his present but I have to say, to all those kids out there - you had better be damn grateful to those parents of yours who must have gone to a lot of trouble to buy those toys for you for Christmas!

It always amuses me how early Christmas starts. Even in September, the supermarkets will start selling mince pies, the card shops will cram their birthday cards into the back of the shop and replace them with overpriced Xmas cards, restaurants start advertising their Christmas Menus and HMV stocks up on DVD Boxsets ("Ideal Xmas Gifts!") On Monday I spotted the first inflatable snowman erected outside a house on the way to work. The Christmas lights on Oxford Street are already up. It's all mad mad mad. Part of me wants to boycott Christmas (I'd already decided that I'm only buying people boxes of biscuits), and the other half is mesmerised by the sparkling, shiny christmas gifts in the shops. Speaking of which, I walked into the new Apple shop on Regent Street and I really really think that I need the new 60GB all colour iPod which displays photos. I know that I already have an iPod. It doesn't matter. I could have two. And guess what, just in time for Xmas they have also released a special U2 edition of the iPod. It's black and red and funky as hell.

The best part of my shopping trip yesterday was a quick trip into Schuh. I discovered a great way of overcoming my short stature - massive shoes! Now I tried buying a pair of stilettoes a couple of months back but they are really really difficult to walk in. I have no idea how those models manage to walk in them, I've even seen girls run wearing them! Anyhow, I managed to find a gigantic pair of trainers that make me really tall. Well, normal height anyway :)

Height Gain Trick

Damn I think I was ripped off.

Dear Santa

Please please please give me one of these for Christmas. I've been a good girl - honest.

Late night ramblings

Thank god for English tea. With full fat milk. And Rich Tea biscuits, or even chocolate digestives. (McVities of course)

Despite my fantasies about relocating to another country to do something fabulously different, I have my reservations about leaving the things I love best behind. Now I've travelled a fair amount, I've been to the US, Canada, Hong Kong, China, Italy, France, Czech Republic and so on. Out of all the places I've been, I wouldn't
mind working in Canada, or Italy, or Japan, but the problem is, nowhere I have ever been can make a decent cup of tea. Either the tea is bad, or the milk is crap. Let's not even bother talking about tea in the US - it doesn't exist. It's so sad. My life without decent tea couldn't be worth living. I'd give up my iPod, my digital
camera, maybe even my treasured Celestion speakers.

I suppose it wouldn't be all that bad. Even flying to New Zealand is only a day away. I have plenty of contacts here to send me staples like biscuits, chocolate and tomato ketchup.

Anyway, back to Hong Kong. It's an interesting place. Lots of noise, people and animals. Last year I was there the breaking news was an escaped crocodile roaming around the New Territories. They flew in Australian experts to catch it but they failed miserably, despite the camera crews being able to get footage of it
swimming along the rivers around where my mum grew up. They should have gotten Steve Irwin in.
The things I noticed about Hong Kong this time round were that

a) they don't believe in small fines - smoking in a non-designated place will cost you a $5000 fine.
Littering, spitting, eating and drinking in train stations will cost you between $1000-$3000. I think that
the local councils in the UK should take note.
b) they don't believe in hurrying. anywhere.

I will be the first to admit that working in the city for 4 years has made me somewhat of a hardened Tube commuter.
I have mellowed somewhat in the more recent years but the London commuter is a highly strung, easily frustrated sort. I don't really blame them, given that the cost of travelling is high and the service poor. I read in the Metro recently that they've agreed a deal where Tube workers will have a reduced working week to 35 hours and 52 days holiday a year. I can only dream. The only time I get to work
a 35 hour working week is if I have a day off. Anyway, I digress. The point is that everyone in Hong Kong walks like my 80 year old grandma. Now she has bad knees so I can excuse her walking slow but the rest of the country? I don't even know
how it's possible to walk that slow, it's almost painful to follow their pace. Coupled with the fact that due to the new road safety campaigns the populace doesn't jaywalk any longer and waits patiently for the red man to turn green it makes
walking around Hong Kong very slow and frustrating.

I've just noticed a woodlouse walking halfway up the wall. I think it's amazing that they can do that so nonchalantly.
It kinds of makes me wonder why humans haven't evolved any more - when are we going to be able to walk up walls? It would come in so handy! So I could understand that perhaps the height imbalance makes walking upright impossible
but I'd settle for being able to crawl :)

*****

It's been a busy week back at work. I was most surprised at the beginning of the week to discover that I had acquired a prank caller - someone who would ring and then hang up when I answered. Someone who also left me an answerphone message of them hanging up. Luckily they seemed to have given up calling now. My 'not-secret' admirer paid me a visit today - he was apparently down to see a different colleague who is on holiday this week so he thought perhaps that I might be able to help. I wasn't. It seems so complicated, this modern day political correctness -
and the eggshells of opposite-sex relationships. Perhaps I should invite this guy down to the pub so we could both get drunk and I could ask him straight out and lay things out in the open. I guess it wouldn't really help all that much even if I knew, and a little demoness inside also thinks it would spoil half the fun. :)

I was watching the Miss World lineup this evening. Besides wondering how on earth Miss UK had been nominated when I've seen total strangers on the tube more attractive, I have always wondered exactly what the point of the competition is.
And why on earth these women would waste their time trying to win it. Yeah sure, there is a reasonable cash prize but surely there are other types of modelling offering much more rewarding financial perks, and also the bonus of being taken a little more seriously? The whole idea of a competition in which hundreds of young, gorgeous women parade in neon bikinis seems too much
like a man's idea :) It's all too superficial for me and I probably wouldn't appreciate the program like a guy would but it's still fun to bitch about each candidate. Having said that, Miss Japan, Miss Korea, Miss Malaysia and Miss Dominican
Republic would definitely do it for me. Speaks volumes about my taste in women ;)

I just visited the website www.missworld.tv and discovered this:

"Simon Cowell’s latest musical protégés Il Divo and multi-Grammy award winning soul sensation Lionel Richie are both confirmed to perform live at the Miss World 2004. The Chinese hosts of the 2004 event are so thrilled at his attendance that 3rd December, the day Lionel Richie arrives in China, has been declared National Lionel Richie Day by the Chinese Government."

Wonder how Simon Cowell felt about that. Also must find out what the chinese are expected to do on National Lionel Richie Day...

Oh those hairfree days

Tomorrow evening I fly to Hong Kong.

It's been a long old day. People seem to instinctively know that you are about to go on holiday and give you more work even if you don't mention it. I'm not the type to screen my calls but it's been oh so tempting this week. It's almost easier not to go on holiday.

I decided to let my vanity win out and pulled out that "painfree no heat wax" solution to wax my legs. Oddly, it's called Nads. Perhaps not so odd (it's made in Australia) and is complete natural. It's funny stuff, very thick like molasses, only bright green. It smells delicious! The down side is - it's NOT PAIN FREE! There is no such thing as painfree waxing. I can only console myself that at least I'm not paying someone else to hurt me. I bet there are plenty of people who would gladly do it for free! It seems to work fairly well anyhow though I had to give up after 20 minutes as the pain got to me. I will just have to shave the rest.

Oh and I have managed to avoid my admirer for two days. Whilst he has been lurking in our area a number of times I have managed to be away from my desk each time. Hmm our Xmas party invites came out today. Must remember to check the guest list tomorrow to see if he has already RSVPed.

The thoughtlessness of some

I'm feeling furious,anxious,scared,distracted,upset. All those things and all because of one sentence.
10 words.

What the hell is someone supposed to do when a friend emails you saying goodbye, enjoy the rest of your life, I'm off??
It's been two days. There is no response to phonecalls or email. We don't have any other mutual friends so I can't ask
around.

I've lost track of where he is staying because he moves around a bit - he likes to pop off down to Exeter from time to
time so it's not unusual for him not to be home.

The more I think about it the angrier I feel. It's such a fucked up thing to do. Even if he has done something stupid
I can feel no sympathy. This isn't the way you treat your friends. Just like committing suicide by parking your car on a level
crossing causing a train to crash and 5 other people to die is a real shitty thing to do.

All I can do is hope that he is alright because I have no other way of finding out. His mobile phone rings but no one picks up.
Sometimes it goes straight to answerphone.
Baka!

A moment of clarity

Someone told me that I was a real flirt today. (this was shortly before he tried to help me 'wipe' something off my skirt) I denied this vehemently at the time but now that I am home I am wondering if perhaps I am not as prudish and modest as I should be. Maybe I should have told that 47 year old the other night to fuck off rather than simply politely decline to accept his offer of a drink.

Have also confirmed my belief that the people I work with are also obsessed with toilets. Apparently there is a toilet 'shadow' - ie a guy who has a daily wank in the toilets on the 4th. This man has been identified and I greatly look forward to seeing who he is tomorrow. Not that I see anything particularly wrong with that kind of activity - I mean, perhaps he is really stressed at work but still, there is something delicious about scandal.

In my next life...

. 

Follow that NavBar

My NavBar appears to have gone rogue. Now whilst it has been some time since I last
wrote any HTML or played with style sheets, I still remember how to do it and no amount of template fiddling will fix it.

Ho hum. It will have to live there like that for a while.

Eulogy to a custard tart

I feel sooo happy for this custard tart. In less than a minute it will have fulfilled its only purpose in life. It can die (?) happy knowing that its brief existence in the universe has given me a little happiness and that I will have appreciated and ravished it with my undivided attention.

This beautiful tart with its wonderfully crusty outer pastry and delicate eggy aroma. The careful sprinkling of cinnamon across the top.

RIP

Breathing deep

I have spent the day alternating between being extremely pissed off and frustrated and between feeling unhappy. It's not pleasant to be working around people when you're feeling a bit like a coiled spring ready to disappear into neverwhere.
It certainly doesn't help when certain individuals find any old excuse to swing round my desk to chat when I have neither the time nor the capacity to answer those type of questions. Perhaps I am being paranoid but:
a) This person has visited my desk 4 times in the last 2 days
b) This person decided not to answer my email or phone with an answer but insisted on coming to my desk in person with their answer
c) Whilst at my desk this person wanted to spend 2 secs to ask another 'favour' outside of my department
d) This person sits 2 floors above me and has to wait for a lift to get to my desk!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Time to leave work and get on with my life.

Testing testing

I cannot understand what it is about fireworks that people love.

Maybe it's because I don't love them. Maybe that's because around this time of year it always seems as if the world is

about to end.

 

There is only one place I have ever been who seem to love fireworks more. Prague on NYE. I have never seen people

walking about the streets with rockets sticking out of the handbags and pockets before. Neither have I ever experienced

standing in a public square with rockets and other such explosives flying about peoples heads as if they were merely confetti.

I doubt I will ever venture there again for New Years - crazy people live there.

 

resolution

I was obviously more drunk than I realised last night.
Woke up at 3am and was horribly sick. Went back to bed and was pursued by nightmares of production support and unfinished sql queries running through my head.
I'm never drinking again.

End of an era

I've just had a few (ahem!) Friday drinks at the Poet. Apparently they have painted over the porn in the mens toilets. Just as well I had a guided tour recently of the adult artwork recently :)

I also have this vague recollection of the ladies toilets having been repainted too. White clouds and lots of red hearts... And the toilets are now a splendid putrid green. Perhaps they got Linda Barker in??

Bright eyes

My eyes are looking a little swollen today. I'm not sure why this as I actually went to bed early for once.

I had a strange dream last night. Parts of it are more vivid than others.
I was in a restaurant toilet. There was only one toilet with a sink and lockable door - no cubicles. As I went to lock the door,
a rather overweight lady walked in. As I wasn't about to do my business with her watching, I asked her politely if she could
wait outside and she said no! An argument ensued and then we started having a waterfight at the sink.
After a while we took the fight outside the ladies toilet and I returned to my table except this fat lady followed me and started throwing food
at from other tables to which my response was to throw food back. Unfortunately for me, I think this woman was a better shot than me
and managed to give me a black eye by throwing a dinner plate.

So I'm wondering again this morning why my eyes are swollen.

Lament of a non politician

Disillusioned is how I feel today. Plagued by disturbing dreams of earthquakes and strange women doing business
on our driveway I was not happy to see that we may have not seen the end of the farce that has been the leadership in the US.
How did this happen? Did the citizens of America really choose the guy with the peasized brain who most likely needs aid
to tie his shoelaces? After the urges from Michael Moore, the celebrities, and every website I have visited in the last
2 months who have declared themselves pro-Kerry, where does this support for Bush come from?

Today I feel sorry for the Americans, sorry for the poor victims on George W Bush's to-do list and sorry for us poor
Britons who will continue to be caught in the mess. As I see it, the future of the UK rests in the hands of the US President.
I don't think it's ever been particularly relevant who our Prime Minister is, our long term alliance with the USA has always held us to ransom. Taxes always goes up, the NHS has always been bad, these things don't change but the worldwide
perception of this country does. I don't want to be cast out when I go on holiday because the US President wants to play with his
toys.

I've never believed in politics and today has reinforced that. I've never believed in god either but if there is one, please please please put things right..

Sweet dreams tonight

I've gotten used to people leaving now. I've been so busy recently that I haven't even been able to think too much about the people who have gone but right now I suddenly miss them.

It's strange how all our lives intertwine and then separate, sometimes permanently. Some links are ever so brief, so fleeting that by the time they are broken you wonder if it ever really happened. I wish that I could pick a day that everyone who I ever met could be in one place for a reunion. It would have to be a really long day so that I could be able to speak to everyone and reminisce about the time we met. Of course, there are those who I never want to see ever again and things would be very awkward should we be in the same room.

We're in the closing hours of the US elections. I feel like I'm looking at the dawn of a new generation. I think more depends on the outcome of this election than we could imagine and yet life continues as ever.

ii desu ne...

Satellite TV is an amazing thing. I feel much more human today after a reasonable amount
of sleep (plus that extra hour due to the clocks changing back) and on this relaxing
Sunday afternoon I came across what I originally thought was a completely pointless
channel.

If you have Sky TV, you can literally spend an entire day channel flicking, even
without the Movie or Sports channels. From shopping channels, Live auction channels,
religious fanaticism channels, to the semi-naked ladies in good taste Fashion TV.
Once evening comes, you get the text message dating channels (each text only costs £1!),
the remarkable Babecast channels (mostly naked ladies who apparently talk live to viewers
whilst fondling each other at text request). However, I would still have to question the
entertainment value of the Advert Channel. Just as the name suggests, the entire point
of this channel is to show adverts all day long. And it's great!
As long as you're over the age of 15. You get to request your favourite adverts - and they
have a website where you can download such classics as the JR Hartley Flyfishing advert
(Yellow Pages), the Secret Lemonade Drinker ad (R Whites), and a recent favourite of mine -
the HSBC advert with the eels. Here's the url:


http://www.theadvertchannel.tv/index.asp

Speaking of adverts, I'm currently obsessed with an advert by 3 featuring a giant body bopping jellyfish. It's a must-see!! You can see it here :)

http://www.welcometoplanet3.com/home.html

Here comes the sun

Well, it's all over. The wedding that is.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Despite the complete inadequacy of the groom to
be organised, the fact that the best man was younger than the bride and had never been to a wedding
since prepuberty (is that a word?!), and the torrential rain that we endured the night before the Big Day,
it all went fairly smoothly. Of course, perhaps if the interpreter for the bride had turned up any later there
may not have been a wedding at all. And if the interpreter had not been told by the registrar that it
was not necessary for her to repeat the vows for the bride to mimic, then we may have witnessed the groom
getting married to two women that day. Stupid cow.

So despite everything, I enjoyed myself. I played with my little cousins, gossipped with my older cousins,
ate a stupendous 10 course wedding banquet and took hundreds of pictures of the compulsory games traditionally
played on the newlyweds. And then I went home to sleep it all off.

I feel like 100 years old today. I haven't had enough sleep since I was in Canada. My waking time is merging with
my sleeping time so life seems pretty surreal at times.
On a brighter note, 2 weeks today, I will be flying for a week away with my family to Hong Kong. It's going to be warm
and sunny there with cheap food and cheap gadgets, the exact thing I need. Hell, anything to get away from this rain.

Beauty and the Beast

I think I've just fallen in love.

I've just come back from the pub and switched on Sky. Somehow ended up watching a rerun of Rod Stewart playing at the Albert Hall. He introduces his backing singer, a busker from the streets of Glasgow, her name is Amy Bell.

She is beautiful. Dark, dark hair framing a pale waif-like face, her voice is husky and sexy. She is the embodiment of Neil Gaiman's Death.

I'm not into women in particular, I have no lesbian tendencies (contrary to belief)
, but I saw her and she moved me. I hope that she gets a record contract because she deserves one - I'd love to hear her voice again. Not sure that I'd fly to Glasgow to see her busking though :)

warning: `class x has virtual functions but non-virtual destructor`

I'm not much of a philosophist but I have spent many
an hour discussing with my friends our beliefs in
the existence of a higher being vs the concept of fate.

Fate or coincidence?

It is my uncle's birthday today. The very same one
getting married next Monday. He is 33.
By strange coincidence, his girlfriend is 19 today. Given the
circumstances of their introduction, it is a highly
improbable event. (not that she is 19, but that she was
born on exactly the same day 14 years before)

This leads me to thinking about the odd parallel between
my uncle and his first real girlfriend and me and my first boyfriend. My boyfriend was the same age as my uncle, and
my uncle's girlfriend the same age as me. The difference
between his and her birthdays was the same as between mine
and his.

I don't really believe in coincidence. I pretty much think
that our lives are predetermined from the start. And it helps. I can take on a much more laidback approach to life
as I have no real power to change it.

This isn't really suitable for blogging but whilst I'm
watching my code compile my mind is wandering to other things :)

Cubicle communication

One day this week I was sat in a cubicle in the ladies toilet at work, minding my own business, when I hear a beeping a couple of cubicles down from me. The frequency of the beeps indicated that someone was typing a text message whilst sat on the toilet. I thought this was very strange and somewhat annoying. I mean, the ladies toilet should be a sanctuary, but this mystery girl had invaded it with her incessant beeping. I don't like to gripe too often but do people not know how to switch off their keytones??

Anyway, I left the ladies and went back to my desk to continue with my work.
An hour or so later, I went back to the ladies (too much tea). Whilst sat on the toilet, again I heard that same beeping. Same cubicle! I couldn't believe that she had been sat locked in a cubicle texting for over an hour, but then I didn't think that she would have left and then come back to do more texting.. Who and why would someone bring their mobile phone into the toilet with them? (aside from the Mobile Phone Girl, who I'm positive is a completely separate person)

It's a mystery.

Here comes the rain

I feel like a fish who has just resurfaced to take a gulp of air. It's been busy. Stressful actually.I'm usually a very rational and collected but I've been seriously overcommitted this month.

I have a dress now. It's not pink but the palest shade of lilac. It's simple and silky and exactly what I was looking for. It even makes me look a little taller! The rest of the wedding plans are in hand, if not planned to perfection. I even know what the bride-to-be's name is now, which helps when you have to be the witness.

I've just looked out of the window. The rain is bucketing down like there's no tomorrow. Good thing I left early this morning. Rain usually depresses me but today it feels soothing.

Always the Bridesmaid never the Bride

In just over two weeks I am going to be the bridesmaid in a wedding that I don't approve of.
The groom is seven years older than me and the bride is seven years younger than me.
She is also to be my aunt, which throws my mind into absolute confusion and denial.
I suppose that I should be more open-minded and liberal but I'm struggling on that front.

At least my dress no longer has to be pink, though given my current lack-of-dress status, and the fact that I have too much work on to be shopping for one, even a pink dress may have been preferable. It's all too much for me to take.

Sigh.

Retrospective

I'm back!

It's been a helluva two weeks. Got back into Stansted at 5-30am, am now back at home, showered and feeling a little tired.
It was a little difficult to log my adventures since I was constantly on the move. In the last 14 days I have changed hotels 9 times. And of course, by the time I got myself to a PC of some sort, the moment had gone :)

So now that I am back and trying my best to refrain from jumping straight into bed, I thought I would do a little recap of my fortnight away.

Day One

Flight to Vancouver, on arrival was picked up by limo to our hotel. I was struck by the similarity of this city to Hong Kong island. Lots of wide open roads and shiny skyscrapers. Went to bed very early as was horrendously jetlagged.

Day Two

Explored Vancouver. Did the usual touristy things like visit the Aquarium (they had Beluga whales there which were really really cute), strolled around Stanley Park (was more like a 5 mile walk), Chinatown. We walked through the down and out areas of the city - gee, if this is as bad as it gets, then I'm moving here.

Day Three

First hotel transfer. We moved to a hotel about 3 blocks away closer to the harbourfront. Did some more exploring - saw the biggest cruise ships I have ever seen in my entire life. Can they really fill all these with people? I found out later that one of the ships I saw had been contaminated with the Norwalk virus. Wasn't quite so keen to go on it after that :)

Day Four

This was the day I had been waiting for. We boarded the Rocky Mountaineer which would get us to Banff in two days with a one night stop in Kamloops. There was a lot of excitement in the air as we waited to get on. I was bemused to see that we were the youngest group of passengers (with exception of a small toddler). There is a lot of fuss over this privately owned train, each carriage has it's own attendant who rushes around giving a running commentary on the sights in between dishing out snacks and coffees.
It took some 8 hours to get to Kamloops where we disembarked. On this day we had seen a total of 2 black bears (black specks in the distance), a bald headed eagle and lots of cows.

Kamloops is a smallish town with just under 90000 residents. I was expecting to find only a gas station and a corner shop but to my surprise there were lots of bars and restaurants. Whilst nursing a v+c at the local Irish pub, I pondered over the movies I had ever seen about people being born in towns like this and never being able to leave. I guess I could imagine it in a place like this.

Day Five

We resumed our journey into the Canadian Rockies. Saw some pretty funky sights and some breath taking scenery. Also spotted lots of osprey nests and 1 osprey. Still no moose and the only bear I saw was a loggerhead one :)
I was a bit tired of the whole charade by this point as there is only so much sitting and eating you can do in a day. By the time we got into Banff I was more than eager to go. Greeted by the resident mounted police we all piled into couches for hotel transfers and then stared open jawed at the castle-like Banff Springs hotel when we pulled up. It's like a fairy castle in the middle of snowcapped mountains. Equipped with multiple restaurants, shops, 5 pin bowling alley and an outside heated pool, I was in 7th heaven.
As if we hadn't eaten enough already, we spent the evening in a local fondue restaurant dipping strange meats such as rattlesnake, ostrich and buffalo into miscellaneous sauces whilst glugging the local brew. Fondues always brings back childhood memories of reading Asterix. Strange that.

Day 6

Went for a coach tour of local Banff. I hate coach tours, all that getting on and getting off the coach and taking photos. This one was much the same, waterfall here, mountain there, and yet another lake. Pile on, pile off. Toilet breaks. We were taken to this cave with a hot spring - $4 normal entry to see a smelly cave and some bubbling water. There were lots of signs warning us not to put our hands in the water (as if!) because there was a species of snail in the water that only existed in these particular pools. Makes you wonder if there is even any point in preserving a species that doesn't exist in the normal food chain.

The highlight of this day was a gondola ride to the top of Sulphur Mountain followed by a trek up to the top of the mountain. I really live for moments like these where I find such natural beauty that it takes your breath away and brings a lump to your throat. Yes I took pictures but I doubt that they could ever convey that moment as I lived it.

Day 7

Another transfer to Lake Louise. As I may have mentioned earlier, there is not much village to speak of in Lake Louise. There is the main lake (so named after Queen Victoria's daughter), the hotel which sits in front of it (Chateau Lake Louise) and the village, which is a 45 minute walk away. Thus we resigned ourselves to spending a very relaxing couple of days at the hotel.

The first thing we did was to indulge in some proper afternoon tea overlooking the lake. This was a very 'english' affair with cucumber sarnies and cream scones.

One thing to note about this hotel - it was used as the main set in the film The Shining. I was slightly freaked out when I realised the deja vu I was feeling on the way to my room was down to the fact that it was the same corridor as in the film with the twin girls in the white dresses...
"red rum. red rum". Brrr...

Day 8

So we thought it would be nice to go for a little hike after breakfast to Lake Agnes. It was a little tougher than we imagined as it was a good 3.5 miles each way, and uphill. I was pleased to discover that I am quite fit despite of my job and made it up in an hour. It was worth it - the lake was stunning - it also drained off as a waterfall into a smaller lake below it.

After that 7 mile trek we thought we'd go canoeing on Lake Louise. Unable to just sit in the boat and look pretty, I had to grab an oar and row. It's a lot more difficult than it looks!

Day 9

We were picked up by this lady coach driver who would be driving us to Jasper. She kept on yakking about the highways and the history of the roads. Luckily she wasn't driving for too long. On route to Jasper we stopped off a this place called Icefields Parkway which is actually on a glacier. We all boarded this funny coach on giant wheels which took us down onto the glacier itself and we all romped in the ice and snow like children. Since we had a special designated area to play in, it felt even more like we were in a playpen :) Strange to think that we were standing on some 300 metres of solid ice. On the way back to our highway coachwoman, we were shown these holes in the ice which turned out to be some 300 metres deep. For fun, the people that work out here climb down them......

Our hotel in Jasper was a glorified lodge out in the sticks. We were only due to stay for one night which was a shame as it was pretty funky. Each room is in a cabin of sorts and there is no fencing anywhere in Jasper to keep the wild animals out so all over the hotel there are signs warning about bears, cougars and rampant elk. September is elk mating season thus all the elk bulls are a little more ornery than usual.

Day 10

We were originally supposed to be picked up at 2pm to get onto the VIA rail train which would take us overnight to Vancouver. Unfortunately, we found out at the very last minute that there had been a derailment and that the train was not to be arriving until the next day. We could either wait for the train to arrive and stay another night in Jasper, or alternatively take a special coach back to Vancouver (which would take 12 hours). Hmmm. Tough choice. We called our tour operator to make all the arrangements and decided to relax another day in the hotel (which also had a jacuzzi and outdoor heated pool).

So after relaxing for the day on the lake and in the jacuzzi, we wandered out of our rooms at about 7pm to find some dinner. One of the most surreal things I have ever seen - about 4 metres away from our rooms was an elk bull munching on the grass. Luckily we were on the second floor so we didn't have to worry about it charging at us. We just stared at it chewing away happy as pie. It was most strange.

Day 11

It turned out that the train was due to arrive at 5am and therefore we had to be at the station ready to board at 4-30am. Needless to say I spent a lot of that journey sleeping. It was a 16 hour ride back to Vancouver - never again! I could have made it back in a few hours by plane. Hmph.

Day 12

Did more sightseeing in Vancouver - this time we visited the Capilano Suspension bridge and Grouse Mountain. The bridge is horrible, it's really long and wobbles all over the place when other people are on it. As expected I guess. Being terrified of heights, I hated it.
Grouse Mountain involved taking a gondola up the mountain. At the top, we couldn't see anything as it was a foggy day. However, they had 2 grizzly bears in captivity and also some wolves. We oohed and ahhed at these for a while. Amusingly, the wolves were ex-acting wolves used in films we'd never seen. B-movie wolves in other words :)

Day 13

Decided to visit Vancouver Island. It was a 3.5 hour trip but it was worth it - by the power of the internet I managed to book the hotel the night before for a bargain rate too! We got into Victoria about mid day and booked ourselves on a whale watching excursion for the same afternoon.
I'm getting a little tired of typing now but the whale watching was amazing - we must have seen at least 15 orcas in all - a number of which swam right past the boat about 3 metres away. We learnt that harbour seals are inherently stupid. There they are sat safe, high and dry on a rock. In comes a killer whale, seals start panicking and jump back into the water one by one. Seals get eaten. Now there's darwinian behaviour for you.

Day 14

Back to Vancouver to get ready to go home. Think I may have mixed up my days here but no matter. I'm going to bed now!

Stranded in paradise

This is going to have to be a quickie.

I am waiting in Jasper station waiting for the VIA train which was supposed to have arrived this morning and taken me to Vancouver this evening. Due to a derailment, the train was delayed by some 12+ hours and I was forced to spend another evening at the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge. Oh no. I can think of much worse places to be stranded :) So I spent the day relaxing in the jacuzzi and boating on the lake.
It was sumptious, for lack of a better word.

Unfortunately I have had to get up at 3.30am to get to the station for departure at 5-15am. I am therefore a bit sleepy still.

I still haven't seen a moose and my tour of the Rockies is over.Ah well. Better luck next time.

Spot the wild animals

I am now in Banff.

I spent two days aboard the Rocky Mountaineer with only one stopover in Kamloops.
It was a very interesting journey - no effort required aside from eating, sleeping and spotting wild animals. It reminded me a lot of our family car journeys when I was younger, counting number plates to pass the time. Of course, there was a little more camaraderie on the train, with some 35 people in our carriage trying to spot moose at 50mph. I was rudely awakened at one point; "Lindsey, quick, there's a bear!". It turned out to be two black logs.

Yesterday evening we arrived in Banff. Staying in the very plush Banff Springs hotel, with its golf course, spa and numerous shops and restaurants, there is not much to complain about. I took a gondola up Sulphur Mountain today and was overwhelmed by the beautiful vistas at some 9000 ft above sea level.
The town here is picturesque but borderline tacky. Too many shops selling cuddly grizzly bears and fake moose driving license plates. The scenery is spectacular though and it's quite unreal to be walking along with mountains all around.

Tomorrow I am off to lake Louise. There is nothing to do there except stay in the hotel and relax. Can't complain too much about that :)

Touchdown

It's my third day in Vancouver. I've finally managed to adjust to the local time here.
There was something very odd about flying out on Saturday morning, spending 10 hours on the plane but not seeing any darkness, and then landing on Saturday morning having to relive the whole day again.

Vancouver thus far has pretty much exceeded my expectations. It has all the elements that I live about this side of the world, without the things that I dislike. I mean, jam is called jam here. The people are friendly and living is as cheap as you want it to be. The roads are wide, the water is clean and there are japanese restaurants in abundance. Heaven! It's all cheap and good too.

Tommorrow I will be boarding the Rocky Mountaineer as part of my 9 day tour in the Rockies. Within these 9 days I hope to see a few grizzly bears, some moose, and perhaps a Mountie or two. I don't really know what else to expect - I have an itinerary but haven't read it. I want everything to be a surprise.

One thing I have noticed over the last few days is the massive population of orientals here, everywhere I go there are large groups of chinese, japanese and koreans. It's reassuring, for some reason.

Over and out.

Winding down

I knew that going for a quick v+c in the pub after work was a great idea. I still haven't packed,
but now I'm not in the least stressed about it :)

I have a Dominos pizza on the way and Radiohead on in the background. I'm sure that I'll manage to get everything done in time. All I need to remember is my passport and credit card.
So what if I get to Vancouver and find that all I've packed is a duvet and a string vest? :)

This could potentially be my last post for two weeks. I just want to remember how chilled out I feel now, this autumn Friday after a very long week at work. I think I could tolerate living the rest of my life feeling like this.

Working in the Menagerie

Apparently I have been called the Iron Lady by some in the office. Strange, I always thought that I was a pussycat but I guess you have to know the magic words.

It's beautiful and quiet in the office this morning. It's still early, and it's Friday. Hurrah for Fridays.

Speaking of animals, I recently spent an idle hour trying to match my colleagues to their animal equivalent. Thus far I have: a weasel, a badger (this is well known), a polar bear, a giraffe, a sheepdog, a chimp and a siamese cat. I'm thinking that this would make a fantastic cartoon..

Wax lyrical

I invested no small amount of money yesterday on some no-heat hair removal wax.
It's still sitting on the side. I weighed the idea of having smooth stubble free pins against the pain of ripping hairs by the ten dozen and Common Sense won out.
It's cold in Canada at the moment anyway :)

I wonder why we girls subject ourselves to this kind of pain? Do men really care if our legs are a little fuzzy?

Terminal Velocity

1 more day to go. I haven't packed, I haven't done my laundry, I am in no position to go on holiday for 2 weeks. What's happened? I am usually so well organised.
I am too exhausted to feel excited. I've just hit my 48th hour at work and Flip Flap is doing my head in.

Think I'm going to leave the office now and go home.

Wise words

A professor stood before his Philosophy 101 class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous - - yes.

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - - your family, your partner, your health, your children, your friends, your favourite passions - - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full." "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - - the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. Play another 18. There will always be time for me to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal." "Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers!

Whatever happened to Poptarts?

It was the start of a beautiful morning when I stepped out of the door. The air was crisp and cool, autumn is finally here.It felt like I had turned to a new chapter in a book, and the plot had moved to new places. And then the sun came out!
So I am in a great mood today despite the fact that I have had the worst support day for months, and that I will have worked yet another 12 hour day come 7pm.

Today's thought turns to the smells that remind me most of home.
Home for me is the UK most of the time, but occasionally it's Hong Kong.
This morning as I was walking along the road to the station, I was overwhelmed by the smell of toast. Not so surprising, as it was 6.30am and I guess people would have been having their breakfasts.
The smell of toast is so British - it always makes me think of home. More specifically, it makes me think of B&Bs, and holidays in the countryside or seaside.
For Hong Kong, the smell is sandalwood incense. My grandparents burn it twice a day to honour our ancestors. With that smell brings heat, noise and the gentle breeze of a fan circulating the air around my grandma's tiny flat.

Hmm. Just trying to think of the smell that reminds me of this office. Starbucks coffee maybe :)

Thus spake the fieldmouse

Remember the Timmy/Milly fieldmouse problem?

Well, Milly did tell Timmy her feelings for him. Timmy was troubled as he had never considered anything more than friendship but the evil seed was sown. Plus Milly was quite an attractive fieldmouse at that. Timmy decided that the best plan of action was to ignore the problem.

And the ending? Milly told Timmy that she was no longer going to talk to him as she thought that he was treating her as a substitute girlfriend.

Yeah, the female race is strange. There is no real logic to their actions. I wish I could explain why I do things but aside from the silly things that I do under the influence of alcohol (champagne in particular), I can't.

Consonant please Bob

I'm in Countdown mode this week. This time on Saturday I will be at Stansted Airport waiting to get on my flight to Vancouver. The excitement hasn't quite hit home yet thanks to the person who has put me on support this week so I will be doubly glad to get away.

Someone told me last week that the weatherman had forecasted a beautiful hot September in London. This past weekend tells me that this is obviously not the case. Therefore I have no misgivings about going off to cooler climes where the bears and moose roam.

Speaking of moose, I damn well hope that I get to see one. There is something very appealing about them - perhaps it's the sheer size, or the sheepish expressions they have (wonder where that expression came from, sheep never struck me as having any notable facial expressions). Thus far, the closest I have ever come to a moose, is on a dinner plate in Sweden. I don't recommend it.

Insomnia

Curse the evil drink. I have the sultry words of Maxy Jazz spinning in my head this morning.
What hope is there for me with such gluttony and vice staining my soul? Curse you, Perignon for my suffering.

Bikini Barbie

Following on from my last post - I've been thinking about what it would be like to be
really small, like pocket-sized. I used to love reading the Borrowers as a child (haven't seen the movie so I can't comment on that).
I could ride around in people's pockets and spy on people from behind the clock on the mantlepiece. As a job I could charge people to help them cheat in their exams. I could make a whole meal out of a slice of peperoni.

I did dwell for quite a long time on the sort of clothes I'd be limited to wearing. I mean, Barbie has quite a good selection to choose from, and the dolls these days are very fashionable indeed but how about underwear? I've not yet seen any slinky lingerie for Barbie (though I have to say that I've never really looked). Plus I think I'd get really tired of plastic shoes. And I can't even contemplate how much scarier spiders would be...

Reality Check

My world was shattered this morning when I found out that I am, in fact, only 5ft 2 inches tall when I had always told everyone (and thought) that I was 5ft 3.5 inches tall.

So I am off this lunchtime to buy some killer 4inch heels to make up for it.

Monkey see, monkey do

I love the feeling of rediscovery.
It's not the startling surprise of discovering something new, but rather a very pleasant feeling that sits somewhere in between deja-vous and the feeling when you see and recognise an old friend. Not sure if that entirely makes sense.

The context here is a book that I bought last week, Non-Fiction by Chuck Pulahniuk. Yes, the guy who wrote Fight Club. Creative genius, and storyteller of eyebrow lifting proportions. Except in this book, the stories are real.

I often think that I should have been a psychologist. Or at the very least, studied psychology. I am fascinated by the way that people think and act. I am an observer by nature and will happily just listen to words forming sentences forming conversation. It's pure music. With some people, the words gush at a constant rate and then pause, as if to catch up. With some people, the words accelerate until they reach a climax, which can sometimes lead into a dramatic pause and finale, or just stop dead. Someone I met recently, their words remind me of a fish, darting in and out of the anemone, intermittent pauses for breath before flitting off again.
I'm digressing a little but no matter. The point is, I discovered once that I loved this writer's imagination, and now, I love even more his way of thinking.

Remember, NEVER GET A CHIHUAHUA.

And today's word is..

I learnt a new word today.

Numpty
Scottish usage:
a) Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others.
b) A good humoured admonition, a term of endearment
c) A reckless, absent minded or unwise person

a) "No. That wisnae wit she meant, ya big numpty!"
b) i.e. "Silly billy", "You big dafty"
c) "That numpty's driving with no lights on!"

I'm not sure how I'm going to manage to fit this into the conversation but what a great word!
I can think of a fair number of people who might classify as one :)
Just got to practise my scottish accent....

Thursday night in

I don't remember the last time I was in on a Thursday evening. It's nice :)

Today I wish that I was somebody else just for the day. I'd even settle for being able to look through someone's eyes like in Being John Malkovich. Sometimes I feel very tired of being me.
Wouldn't it be great if I could wake up every morning and choose the person I wanted to be? Someone different every day.

I suppose that if I 'forgot' everything that happens the day before then that effectively gives me that option. Sounds like the plot of a film ;)

Panic stations!

I think flip flap is sick.
I just happened to look at it and noticed that it was not moving.
It's not dark in the office - all the lights are on.

I have given it a prod and it has started flapping again, but not at it's usual pace. Maybe I should take it to a garden centre. Wonder what they would say? :)

Well that wasn't supposed to be the post of the day. I was actually thinking about the concept of time travel after seeing this website:
http://www.timetravelfund.com/index.html

If I could travel back in time, I think that I would like to watch my parents getting married. I'd like to follow my life until this moment (well, maybe not watch me being born) I'd like to count the number of people I've ever met, maybe the times I've ever cried, and maybe I'll even discover why it is that I don't like tofu. And yeah would I pay to go back and see the reaction on my English teacher's face when she first read the almost-pornographic poem that I submitted for an assignment when I was 15!

Something to break the silence

Running in circles

Coming up tails

Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing

At numbers and figures

Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science

Science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

Every so often a song touches me. They played this last year on a Children In Need video - after I saw it I phoned up and donated a very reasonable amount of money.

Such is the power of music.

Flower Power

Flip Flap has a friend!

She is a solar powered flower sitting in a cube:

http://www.takaratoys.co.jp/flowercube/lineup.html

She doesn't have a name. Personally I think she's quite dangerous as she swings from
side to side in an extremely hypnotic manner. I'm a little concerned that I will stare too long
one day, become hypnotised by accident and be utterly subject to the persuasion of colleagues.

Scarily, my whole team has one. Could this mean the end?

Rainy days and Mondays

I hate the rain. And I hate Mondays.
The only thing that I hate more than Mondays is February. Odd that, since my birthday is in February - or perhaps not so strange after all, now that I've hit the quarter century.

The rain seems to be particularly depressing in London. When it rains in the countryside it's almost therapeutic - it's part of nature, helps to keep the air fresh and the plants healthy.In London, it breaks down the transport system, turns dreary grey London into mucky dreary grey London, renders the streets unusable due to the tiny streets and massive golf umbrellas sported by the inconsiderate commuters.
On an especially bad day:-
a) On way to station, at least one car will have splashed through a puddle spraying me with muddy rainwater
b) This is usually followed by me stepping into a foot-deep puddle due to badly maintained pavements
c) trains are all delayed by 20 minutes due to flooding/leaves on the line
d) when finally manage to get on sardine tin-esque tube carriage, will find number of umbrellas dripping on me. It doesn't help that I am not particularly tall
e) On really really bad days, they will have temporary closed my destination station due to overcrowding and I will be forced to walk one stop, in the rain
f) On these days I am guaranteed to be poked in the head/eye at least once by someones oversized umbrella. For gods sake, why would people need an umbrella of that size for one person! I think we need an umbrella pool type system - if you don't have more than one umbrella sharer,you should not be allowed a large umbrella. Unless you are really fat.
g) I will walk into the office wet, muddy, cold and miserable. If I was unlucky enough to wear a skirt I will have mud spattered tights, and my newly washed hair will now be untidy and matted if I have forgotten my umbrella.

At least it's the Bank Holiday weekend coming up. I haven't decided what to do yet. I wasn't planning on going away but seeing the weather this morning -maybe I should..

Dilemma of a fieldmouse

I've been pondering the best solution to a small problem presented to me recently. To make it more objective, I have converted into a cute little story.

There are two fieldmice, a boy mouse and a girl mouse. Let's call them Timmy and Milly.
Timmy and Milly consider themselves as friends, and get on very well but they don't know each other all that well. Despite this, Milly develops strong feelings for Timmy and thinks about him constantly when they are not together. Timmy, being a typical male, is oblivious to all this.

Milly is faced with a problem. Does she admit her feelings for Timmy and potentially ruin the friendship she has with him, or does she keep them to herself? There is only the most remote possibility that they can get together.

Now being the cynic that I am, I personally believe that Milly would be extremely selfish to confess to Timmy that she likes him. Given the unlikelyhood (did I just make up that word?) of a real relationship between them, there is nothing to be achieved by it apart from Milly easing some of the tension she feels. Their friendship would become more awkward, and maybe even cease to exist.
On the other hand, what if they are the perfect match? What if, by not saying anything they drift apart for some other reason and lose that chance of real love?

If I were a guy then I might be better able to provide the answer. Is friendship or love more important to a guy? Answers on a postcard.

Circle of Life

As I opened my eyes this morning to another champagne hangover, I was hit by the sudden realisation that the circle of life (at least in my case) begins in the Light Bar, revolves around the Light Bar and most undoubtedly will one day end in the Light Bar.

Though not the scene of my fondest memories (that would be the nearby Poet), I cannot recall a single occasion where I did not stumble out of this alcohol den having entered whilst the sun had not long disappeared and left with the distant callings of the last Tube train home ringing in my ears. So cheers to Dave, my friend and colleague - and Happy Birthday once again.

Why I am not a Geek Girl

A colleague e-mailed this link yesterday and said "There is hope for you yet".
http://drue.com/writings/

The article is called How To Love A Geek Girl.

Funny but I never really considered myself a geek. It's true that I am a "programmer" (I always preferred the term "Developer" but let's not be pedantic), it's also true that I do spend a lot of time in front of a PC, whether at work or at home. Yes I have had very techie dreams about linux servers. And ok I do have an obsession with Neverwinter Nights at the moment. I don't think it's conclusive though.

Damn. I don't sound convincing even to myself.

More about Flip Flap

I've just had a little look on Tomy's Flip Flap site - how cute!!!

http://www.tomy.co.jp/flip_flap/top.html

I think I need one in every colour.

Ode to Flip Flap

I seem to spend minutes on end staring at Flip Flap, a solar powered plant that sits on my desk at work. It's very calming but after a while, it can cause strange thoughts to pop into your head.
Despite this, I love it so I wrote a little ode as a tribute.


How peaceful you are, your graceful swaying from side to side
In perfect harmony to the palpitations of my heart
Like me you are dependent on the light
To remain the gentle being you are
Dearest Flip Flap, keeper of my wistful daydreams,
Timeless constant,
I give thanks for your solidarity and simple wisdom.

NYR

Six minutes of my life just passed by. Seems more like twenty. It’s late, nearly 2am. I’ve worked more than a 50 hour week and had less than 6 hours of sleep a night this week. I don’t really want to be here, but I don’t really know where else I want to be. I feel exhausted, but at the same time, restless. What do I need to do?
My life is full of mundane things at the moment, work, planned holidays, financial matters that I need to take care of. So much clutter. So many things, belongings, responsibilities. I need to offload some of it. It’s now August. I still have time. I can make it a New Years Resolution. In fact, I will make it a New Years Resolution. I can apply minimalism to my life.
I think I now know what I need to do – and knowing that, I can finally go to bed. Oyasumi.

From below the parapet

I love the days where I have nowhere in particular to be.
Life is suddenly full of possibilities. If a stranger asked me out for a drink,
I could potentially say yes, without disappointing anyone else. I could be walking along a road and just stop - and watch the rest of the city hurrying along to
meet their weekend.
I always thought that I owed it to myself to maximise my time. I seem to make such an effort to do this that I tend to forget to enjoy the moments :)


It's been a strange couple of weeks. I feel as if I've reached the parapet and I'm peering over it at the beautiful view spread out before me. Only I'm terrified of heights and don't know which way to look. I know that if I can just let go of my fears, all my obstacles will dematerialise. But if I turn back, the road leads to certain safety. Do I walk or fly?

Fantaseas

It's my dad's birthday tomorrow.

Last night in my dream I was struggling to think of what to do for his birthday - where we could take him to celebrate. I had a sudden flash of inspiration - swimming at Fantaseas, an indoor waterpark that has waterslides, rapids and all that sort of thing. It was very close by,in Lakeside Retail Park, in between Miller Brothers and the UCI Cinema.

[In actual fact, whilst this retail park does exist, as does Miller Bros and UCI Cinema, there is nothing in-between them, and there is no waterpark anywhere near Lakeside at all. Fantaseas did used to exist, but it sat somewhere off the M25and has long since shut down]

Anyway, we ended up driving to Fantaseas and found out that it was now called Equilibrium. I got out of the car and realised that I had somehow forgotten to bring my swimming costume. Luckily for me, my brother remembered that I could buy sportswear at a massive shop called Wilkinson Sword (?!) so off we went.On the ground floor of this shop they sold an absolutely incredible range of Anime merchandise, cuddly Totoros, Gundam, trading cards, it was all there. My brother and I had a heated argument about whether the goods were cheaper in this shop than in Japan/Hong Kong and we traded nonsense prices at each other.

I didn't think any of this was at all strange but I will never know whether this shop actually sold swimwear, or indeed, if I managed to buy anything becausethe next thing I knew, I was strolling through the door of Equilibrium looking for the ticket counter. We wandered through some unusually dark corridors and passed many many doors - much like a hall of residence. There were girls strolling between the roomswith hairdryers and mobile phones, some still dressed in their pink pyjamas. I didn't think this was strange either. It's funny how the oddest things that happen in dreams just seem normal at the time.

Unfortunately I never got to do any swimming as my mobile phone alarm went off and woke me up. I also think it's unlikely that I will be going swimming tomorrow on my dad's birthday.

The Dream Queen awakes

I live on dreams.

That delicious moment when your mind begins to regain conciousness and fragments of your dream replay themselves across your closed eyelids. Your dreamstate emotions linger momentarily, frissons of fear, relief, passion, excitement.

What controls my dreams? Is it a subconscious decision the brain makes to prepare oneself for real life? Can it really just be a reflection of fears and desires as the psychologists would have us believe?

Music. I never hear music in my dreams. My dreams are like playing the piano with the una-corda pedal down - muted voices and sound effects. Sometimes I cannot even tell if the characters in my dream are really talking, or if I am just imagining what they are saying inside my head. If I could choose the soundtrack for my dreams, I expect it would be mostly classical and jazz. I'd have Nina Simone for when I'm prisoner in a triad gang war, Bach Minuet in G Minor for when I'm wandering lost in the school I went to as a child and maybe Tchaikovsky's Valse des Fleurs for those moments when I've saved the Universe from certain destruction :)

I saw Derren Brown a few months ago live at the Palace in London. I was suitably impressed with his ability to influence so many people with his subtle (almost smarmy) charm. It makes me wonder - if he can so easily influence peoples' subconciousness whilst they are aware and, you'd have thought, in full control of their rational thoughts, could he do the same for when we fall asleep? Is this what hypnosis is about? And how can you tell if you're hypnotised?

.... Now I can't help thinking about Brave New World ..