$t Valentine$ Day

What a totally ridiculous day of the year. I do think that this day was invented purely to make both men and women miserable. And retailers rich.

Let's see. On Valentines Day:

Women

1 Feel miserable if they have not received any flowers and/or cards and/or presents. This apparently means that they are unloved and/or alone and destined to be alone orever. (Bridget Jones syndrome)
2 Feel miserable if they are not being taken out for romantic candlelight dinner/walk under the stars/musical/concert/weekend away.This apparently means that their partners do not care enough about them to make the effort.

Men

1 Feel miserable if they have not received any cards. This apparently means that they are unattractive and unloved. Also means they have no bragging rights.
2 Feel miserable due to the pressure of having to buy cards, gifts and organise something romantic as proof of their feelings.
3 Feel miserable due to the cost of all these sentiments

I emerged from the underground this morning to the sight of the florist having replaced most of her usual stock with roses. In addition to this, she had even extended her stall with a temporary stall filled with - you've guessed it - roses. I didn't dare to look how much they cost.

I for one will be looking forward to going home tonight to enjoy a meal with my parents (at their labour no less).
Good luck to the rest of you.

gung hei fat choy

Happy New Year!

We have moved into a new year - the year of the Rooster. Not my year, but my mothers. It doesn't mean all that much really :)

I'm reading this wonderful book at the moment - it's called The Alchemist by Paul Coelho. It's very much like a parable I suppose, and though I wouldn't say that it was life-changing, it has certainly made me realise some things about my life and my approach to life. It's about dreams and omens and listening to your heart. It sounds a mite cliched but I find it surprisingly heartwarming. I am hoping to finish it before I go to bed tonight, perhaps it will bring me good dreams :))

before the crow of the cockerel

It's Chinese New Year tomorrow. I will be celebrating tonight with my family - there will be a lot of food, and possibly alcohol (if I have anything to do with it).

I've been thinking today about the differences in Chinese and Japanese culture - for all the similarities in beliefs, superstitions and traditions, there are also many significant differences that I cannot relate to or even begin to comprehend. I was chatting to a friend the other week about this condition that seems to be rife in Japan.
It's known as hikikomori. This condition causes (mostly) young people to lock themselves into a room and refuse to come out. They don't speak to anyone, don't leave the room, don't go to school or college and this can last for years. The strangest thing is that the parents accept this behaviour and work around it - the mother often cooking the meals and leaving them at the door for their child to eat. People don't talk about it as if it's shameful and a reflection of the inadequacy of the parenting. Japan as a society are very proud people - much like the chinese. We abhor the idea of 'losing face' just as much as they do but the Japanese tendency to keep everything absolutely behind closed doors is different to the way of the Chinese. For all their advancements in technology - socially they have a long way to go. How can a society expect progression if they cannot address their issues? Or even admit to them?

The conjecture is that this condition can be attributed to suffering from pressure - pressure from school, parents, even society to do well and be successful. To avoid becoming a failure.
This makes me think back to when I was younger - when all that mattered was getting the grades that would make my parents happy and proud. Such naive but natural thoughts. Now that I've grown up I realise that my parents did not directly pressure me to do well, but neither did they encourage me to live for myself. Those years of bitterness at never doing well enough.

Imagine a million people hidden away from the rest of the world. Living behind a closed door, passing time. They've given up because it's all too much. They could have been doctors, they could have been scientists, they could have contributed towards a better future for countless others.

We as adults have such a huge responsibility to the children of the future. Not just by what we do, but by the things that we don't. We need to protect the planet so that our children may live. We need to share our wisdom so that they may make better choices. We need to stop thinking so much about ourselves and our needs. Give up the vanity, the self importance, the self indulgence!

I feel a little frustrated to be saying these things, yet having no real answers. No real solution. Yet another reminder of how insignificant my life can be.

health warnings

Last night I dreamt that I started smoking. As I find both smoking and people who smoke very unattractive, this is kind of strange. Perhaps I want to rebel against my own ideals in my subconcious?

According to Dream-Land, dreaming of smoking represents addictive patterns. Maybe... I am undergoing champagne cold turkey? :)

no meat just veg

Feeling pretty bad today. This time, no champagne was involved. (in fact I have stuck to my New Years Resolution so far!)Somehow managed to get home but I have no real recollection of this particular journey. Woke up from coma sleep at 7am this morning and then had a rather strange dream...

I was in America - at a Disneyesque town that contained and was funded by 3 theme parks. One was Disney, and the other two I don't quite remember. One of the theme parks was amazing - I can't quite find the words to describe it but it was extremely vivid and colourful. (This answers my question about whether I dream in colour or not)

Anyway, skipping the theme park bit - I was living in a house in this town. I had the same pikey neighbours as per my house in the UK but my house looked different. For some reason, my neighbours had started using the back of my garden as their own and had built a giant blue shed there. This shed contained row upon row of giant marrow plants. Apparently, my neighbours were growing these marrows as part of some secret drug experiments where they were extracting some sort of ingredient from the marrows and selling it to medical labs. The neighbours even broke into a fight amongst themselves due to the fact that people had died as a result of these tests.

I spent the early part of today at an apartment launch. It's a shame that I am not quite ready to buy as these flats were very nice and a very reasonable price. And they overlook the old Big Breakfast cottage :) I wonder who owns that now...

girl seeking guy:

In his eyes I seek reflection
a mirror of myself
Within his arms I seek solace
from the prying eyes of existence
In his mind I seek the answers
to questions I have not yet asked
In his heart I seek forgiveness
for the choices I didn't make

From the tips of his fingers
I draw comfort and connection
From his voice I draw my courage,
inspiration and wisdom
From his lips and warm caresses
I find wonder and contentment
From his being, I need for nothing
I am fulfilled to completion.

cease and desist

I have yet to master the art of knowing when to stop. The more I think about it, the
more examples I can think of in my life where I could have spared myself some trouble if only I had stopped what I was doing sooner.

For some reason, the strongest example if this in my mind goes back to my A-Level Chemistry classes and titrations. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we did titration after titration until we were all completely paranoid about overshooting the tests.
For those who don't know, titrations are tests where you add one reagent to another drop by drop until a chemical reaction occurs. Usually the colour of the initial reagent turns colour when the reaction has happened - and the intensity of the colour indicates the extent of the reaction.
In a lot of the experiments we did, if your solution went bright pink, then you had overshot and this screwed up the calculations afterwards. one of my most vivid memories of Chemistry class is holding a conical flask of pink bubblegum coloured solution :(

I can think of other examples. Right now for instance. I have been heavily coding most of the afternoon, about 40 minutes ago everything was compiling nicely. I could have called it a day and gone home at 6pm but I decided to do a little more work - perhaps finish it off so I can test tomorrow. Now it's no longer compiling and I am too tired to try and fix it... Yet I hate to go home and leave things like this
because it means that I will have to fix it tomorrow before I do anything else.

Another example? Many a night sitting at a poker table in the casino, having won some money. Decided to continue and ended up losing it all :(

Yet another example? Lol. My second driving test. Whilst performing my 3 point turn manoevre I had already reversed and all I needed to do was to put the car in 1st gear and drive away. For some reason, I had gone through all the motions in my head and thought that I'd changed gear...
so foot on the accelerator and I wondered why the car wasn't moving. Should have stopped there and thought about it but stupidly I gave it a little more on the gas and the car ended up on the kerb :P
Just a little mind. And there was a spindly tree right in the way to make things even more stupid! Luckily I was quick to react and immediately 'fixed' the problem but the damage was done and I failed the test 10 minutes into it. *Sigh* Still had to take the rest of the test. My driving instructor was very nice about it despite having scratched his brand new paintjob.

I could probably go on. But I think I might go home instead :)

i see dead people

I've now watched 5 episodes of Six Feet Under. I can see why it's so popular. The humour is sharp and beautifully dark - and the characters are wonderful.

The family that this series revolves around (The Fishers) own a funeral home. For some reason, each member of the family appears to be able to see and talk to the deceased. Whether this is literal or not, I'm not so sure, it's still early days in the series yet but it got me thinking about ghosts. If people could really see ghosts, (that's not to say that I don't believe the accounts of people who claim to have, but as I have not seen any myself, I leave it open for debate), would we see them as a true representation of their dead bodies, or would we see them as they were when they were living - ie a manifestation of what the spirit remembers that they looked like when they were alive?

Say that a guy has a car accident and ends up decapitated. Would his ghost be headless? Is there any reason why it would be? Would the ghost have a choice over his appearance in spirit form? On paranormal investigation programmes such as Most Haunted, it seems that 'spirits' appear on camera as an orb of light. Yet people have claimed to have seen ghosts as people. Is there really such a strong link between our spirit self and our physical self? Or is it just that our spirits persist the memories of our previous lives even though it has left the vessel in which it resided?

I do believe in ghosts. I believe that we all have something in each of us that differentiates those that are 'dead' and those that are 'living'. Yeah sure we might be made up up electrical impulses but it's not like a radio where you can turn people on and off at will. I also believe in reincarnation. We all know that there is no such thing as destruction - energy cannot come from nothing. So when something dies, something is born. Somewhere there is a pool of 'life fabric' which is ceaselessly recycled. On death, the fabric returns to the pool - but sometimes, it gets a little lost. [geek mode] Like zombied processes in a massive computer. [/geek mode] These lost pieces of fabric are the ghosts - lingering where they died, with no purpose or owner. They remember what they looked like, everything up to the point that they died, and hang around until somebody discovers them.

Much like a core dump ;)

soliloquy

The third eye opens
Drinks in the fuschia, the rainbow spectrum.
Where there was darkness and silence,
Dawn breaks.
Overwhelmed, the eye attempts to close
Shut out the light! Blockade the truth!
There is a struggle within, a mutiny.
The comfort of denial beckons
but the damage remains.
The eye now gapes at the widening chasm
Following the single winding path into the void.
In the subconscience a voice speaks out;
Seek solace in acceptance.
Indecision and resistance take to the battlefield.
The skirmish seems indefinite
And time passes.
The euphoria of paradise is still strong.
The colours still bright, the sensations still sweet
This universe is suspended to prolong these fleeting moments
Until the battle is won.

"Do or do not. There is no try."

I feel that I have to post this link. It's a link to Jeff Tweiten's blog. This guy has been camping outside his local cinema since the 1st Jan 2005 and will remain there until Stars Wars Episode III is released on May 19th.

I can't quite decide whether it's sad or commendable. I don't think he's trying to prove anything to anyone, and I don't have a problem with fandom, but I highly doubt that it's going to be worthwhile :)
Both Episode I and Episode II totally sucked.

heaven is..

bathtime. I love the guilty pleasure of soaking for far too long in a bath.
The stress drains away with the cold water, my emerging self feeling great and smelling of lavender.

Am now going to fix myself a nice drink and pop a dvd on. Who says that Wednesday night has to be spent propping up the bar? ;)

last rites

I just watched the pilot episode of Six Feet Under. It made me think. Not just about the one funeral I ever went to, and the one funeral I didn't get to go to but about funerals in general and I realised with some horror that the day that I die, my family are going to want to do things the 'proper' way. Sod that.

I remember when I was in secondary school, my friend Jenny and I used to discuss our own funerals. Jenny was really into Queen and wanted Bohemian Rhapsody to be played at hers. It wasn't an entirely serious conversation but 10 years on, it has occurred to me that if I don't do anything, my funeral will be the complete opposite of how I would want it to be. Not for me the organ music or mournful violin sonatas. Not for me the hushed tones and silent tears. I want real music at my funeral, I want dancing, and champagne. I want it to be a celebration of the person that I am, of the life that I lived. I don't think that's much to ask.

Oh ick. I'm watching this programme about anatomy. That weird guy, Professor Von Hagens or somesuch (from that infamous Body Worlds exhibition) is demonstrating how the lungs work.

Hmm. It's interesting though. He is injecting artificial blood into the intestines.. and you can see it filling the veins. Good thing I've finished my dinner.

the final fight part I

Whilst sitting in a deliciously hot bubble bath contemplating the matters of the world, (that and trying not to get my toe stuck in the bath tap. What is the allure of that anyway?)I wondered who/what would come out on top out of a real battle of survival of the fittest. Now in the event of a nuclear fallout, I guess the winner would probably be the cockroach given it's immunity to radiation.

Let's disregard that scenario. I guess we would then be talking about either an outbreak of disease, or a massive population explosion rendering such a great shift in the balance of things that mayhem would ensue.

The contenders are: humans vs animal kingdom (land, air and water) vs bacteria. Vegetation doesn't count - it's food.
Firstly, I don't think that mankind will win. There is sufficient evidence to suggest that men (and women) are incapable of sharing, or working together sufficiently to preserve the survival of the entire species. However, man will be in the final fight I reckon.

Secondly I would discount any animal that is seabound. Reason being that if they depend on the sea, they aren't any major contender to those who can survive out of it. This is under the assumption that there isn't a Noah's Ark style flood. Which there could be.

Next we eliminate the vegetarians. Rabbits, giraffes and suchlike don't pose much of a threat to anything or anyone.

So we now have humans vs air or land bound carnivores vs bacteria. Now if the battle were down to chance, then the bacteria would probably win, being deadly and indiscriminate. However, bacteria doesn't have much motivation and relies a lot on the conditions it resides in so I don't consider it a real contender either.

Ok so we are down to animals vs humans. The air bound carnivores don't really have much hope as they are mostly loners and are also limited by having to concentrate on flying. Their only real chance of survival is to fly away and hide until the battle is over.

The final round therefore is between meat eating animals that live on land, and humans. Wait, I forgot about insects. Anyway, I want to eliminate humans. Yeah ok, they are highly intelligent, are very resourceful, have weapons and machinery and all that but I think the intelligence factor becomes a liability at this point. You'd have so much debating and protesting that by the time they'd decided to fight back, it would be far too late. And this is after the time it takes for the humans to fall into different camps.

So... in actual fact I think it will be some other predator that will survive in the end.

Hmmm... Ok I'm going to sleep on this one. Not sure yet what the outcome should be. Not pigs.

red mist

I do have to wonder if I'm not a borderline masochist.
After a 12 hour stint at work, last one out of the office, I have come home only to find myself sitting once again at my pc trying to hit 80% success rate on Freecell. I have spent the last two nights sitting until 1am doing this. It all becomes counterproductive as I get too tired to concentrate and then lower my percentage. I then oversleep and go into work feeling wretched only to repeat the whole process again the next day. Out of all the great games I have on my pc - this is the one that tortures me!!

the tourist

I am so in love with London. Over the years, I've had a kind of love-hate relationship with this city. Before I worked here, I loved it - the accessibility, the shopping, the diversity. Then I graduated and started working in London. I started to loathe the noise, the traffic, the tourists and the high cost of living. I hated the commuting, particularly the Jubilee line. I also hated the commuters.

Days like today reaffirm my love for this city. It has everything. Whatever kind of person you are, there is a special place in London for you. Whatever you want to do, however you feel.

I played tourist today. It's tragic to live in a place so long and not have seen anything at all. Didn't get up particularly early - took the Central line to Bank and started walking. The City is especially beautiful on a rainless Sunday. It's always deserted, all the bankers at home or playing golf. The buildings are pristine, and when it's sunny it's a lovely walk through the clusters of coffee shops and offices. It was incredibly romantic, even if I was the only one to think so :)
The sun came out just as I reached St Pauls Cathedral, breathtaking but a little ragged around the edges. Then across the road along the Millenium Bridge. This is probably my favourite bridge in the world. Walking along this bridge is like walking in the air across the Thames. To the left, you can see the Gherkin, Tower Bridge and all the way to Canary Wharf. Once you cross to the other side, you can walk along the bank of the Thames all the way to Westminster, which I did. This walk can render many surprises, it's a very interesting journey. Outside the Shakespeare Globe Theatre, I watched some wannabe freerunners practising on some posts and benches. The mime artists gather around the London Eye, the skateboarders underneath the Purcell Room at South Bank, the bike stunters down by Southwark. A man sits with his mouth hidden inside what looks like a didgeridoo. "Come and see the amazing monkey!" he invites. I walked past, knowing much better. A man stirs his caramel peanuts listlessly, can barely be motivated to advertise his wares. As I sit with a long drink at the window of the Slug and Lettuce, the freerunners have caught with me and are running along the top of a covered walkway, jumping some obstacle that I cannot see. They have a long way to go - my guess is that they are newbies to the ever-increasingly popular sport. The idea is to give the impression of absolute spontaneity, but they probably had no idea that anyone was watching.

Continuing towards Westminster and Big Ben, I am surrounded by tourists and clicking cameras. Despite the now grey skies, the tourists are determined to get their shots. I cross the road to peer through the gates to get a closer look at the Houses of Parliament. Pity about the traffic lights and ramps, I think. Next stop is Westminster Abbey and St Margarets church. It's gone dusk now, and the lights give London a romantic glow. Opposite St Margarets are some public toilets. There is a sign outside declaring it the "Loo of the Year". I don't check to see if it deserves the award. Instead, I head back towards the West End through St James Park. Back to civilisation.

firefighting rhinos

Many years ago, when I was about 12/13 years old, I rented out this video called The Gods Must Be Crazy. It had me in stitches and I have been waiting forever for it to be rereleased on DVD.

Well I saw it today in HMV so I had to buy it. Just having watched it - over 10 years on, whilst still funny, it's actually quite thought-provoking. I highly recommend it. It's about a bushman who one days sees a coca cola bottle (the old glass ones) fall out of the sky and it changes his life forever.

One thing that came up in the film - apparently when rhinos see a fire, they will charge up to it and stamp it out. Sadly, a quick google search tells me that this is not true. But it would have been cool if it were.

heaven and hell

It's strange what exhaustion can do to the mind and body.
After 10 hours of solid drinking on Thursday night and a mere 3 hours of sleep, yesterday I was not quite on top form on the work front.

Thinking that it was probably best to go home and relax, I passed up the opportunity to keep on drinking and went home - only to end up staying up until 1am watching Dogma. What a brilliant film - Kevin Smith is a genius. And hilarious to boot.

Anyhow, I woke up this morning from a dream which started off as a horrible nightmare and ended as a strange fantasy...

The dream starts off with 4 people in a car (myself included) driving to a cottage in the countryside for a short break. The car is absolutely full to the brim with stuff, as if we were moving house rather than taking a holiday. When we get there, the owners of the cottage welcome us and help us settle in before disappearing off to wherever they live. The cottage was nice enough - but it wasn't long before we (I), discovered that it was haunted, and the multiple ghosts that inhabited this small house all manifested themselves to me in a way that was extremely disconcerting. Like when you're living in student digs and you get up in the middle of the night to visit the toilet, still feeling drowsy and sleepy, and you cross paths with someone else on the way there. Only in my dream, they were ghosts - a middle aged couple, an old man or woman, and a young woman that I never saw. The dream picked up pace and came to a head when one morning, the other 3 people in my party all saw something that made them scream. Petrified, I somehow knew what they had seen but didn't know what it looked like, and didn't really want to see it. It was a small bundle, with a 'child' inside. I could see it glowing even though I was in a completely different room, and it was evil. At this point, we all got our things together and left the cottage as fast as we could.

The dream continued on as we carried on driving, we ended up in a small town on the coast. It was very American, wide roads, deserted. Our car stopped, and the driver got out. I looked out of the window and saw that we were stopped outside a boarded up shop with the words, 'oil and gas' sprayed onto the brick wall in black paint.
As the driver (the identity of the people in my dream is pretty irrelevant) unscrewed the petrol cap, he was suddenly surrounded by 3 guys, dragged off and punched and kicked. We stared on aghast, but before we could do anything, the car started rolling. As if by magic, the road was suddenly full of oncoming traffic and we had to take the wheel to avoid crashing into these cars coming on to us at full speed. The next thing I knew, we were parked on a grassy verge and a guy hands us flyer.(the driver was back in the driving seat) I saw the most beautiful beach I had ever seen. The sand was golden, massive rolling sand dunes with clear blue waves crashing onto them. We went back to that town - but it had changed. See, this town was so protective of it's beaches that it had employed the most amazing technology to stop people from ruining them. The whole town was shrouded by a giant hologram and only by passing some sort of test, could you see the true form of it. I walked to the seafront - it was drab and the rain was torrential. Everything was sepia and dingy. The moment I walked onto the beach, it was like walking through a mirror into paradise.

I don't remember how the dream ended. Or even if it did.

made in America

I went to see National Treasure last night. I didn't have particularly high hopes - but I just couldn't stomach 3 hours of Scorcese's The Aviator after a full day at work so I went for what I expected to be a complete no-brainer instead. Besides, it was Orange Wednesday so tickets are half price :)

I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised. The story is absolutely nonsensical but it was very entertaining. Apparently based on the Da Vinci Code (which I haven't read), it's like a cross between Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones - though in my opinion more of the latter and less of the former. Lots of action, riddles and wry
one-liners, Diane Kruger provides eyecandy for the guys, Nicholas Cage is on top form as the slightly sarcastic, artifact enthusiast and Mensa candidate, and Sean Bean is, well, Sean Bean. (will never understand why the Brits always plays the bad guys) I was a little lost by the premise behind the film - the general plot revolves around Nicholas Cage trying to find the treasure of all treasures which was hidden by the Knights Templars to prevent the British from ever getting to it. (er, why? And why would they need to ship it all the way from Europe to America??)
They leave a whole string of clues as to where the treasure is, but you have to be extremely well versed in American History to be able to decipher them. But anyway, my verdict was, ludicrous but entertaining. And hey, it's Disney.

itadakimasu

I have this amazing passion for japanese food. I love lots of things, with most I can be fickle depending on my mood but I don't think I'd ever get bored of eating japanese food.

I meant to have sushi for lunch today - except the queue was massive and I ended up in this little japanese cafe instead. I bought myself a soba bento and a little box of riceballs (aka onigiri). Soba is so simple, it's just noodles made from buckwheat - you eat it cold dipped in a sauce mixed with wasabi. Though simple, it tastes so good that it practically turns me on :) Even now, some 4 hours from lunch I can still taste the noodles..
I can only be thankful that I live in London because I can indulge myself stupid with japanese food (for a price of course). If you can name it, you can probably have it - somewhere. I dream of vel vety salmon sashimi, indulgent okonomiyaki smothered in bonito fishflakes and japanese brown sauce, prawn tempura fresh from the pan, the delicate flavours of onigiri with salmon filling wrapped in crispy nori, I could go on and on.

I met a replacement sushi partner at the Christmas party (my last one left the company some time ago) - we have a table at Miyabi next week for lunch. The sushi there is truly melt-in-the-mouth. I can hardly wait...

PS itadakimasu is what you traditionally say before eating (kinda means 'thankyou for the food'

Winds of change

There are days when you wake up and there is a distinct feeling that things will never be quite the same again. You get up as normal, get ready for work, get on the Tube and everything seems the same.
There is a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, a small knot of anxiety. As the minutes tick by, I find myself in a state of anticipation - yet nothing. Perhaps it is me who is supposed to be the catalyst?

The List

There is an episode of Friends which I always remember - the one with Isabella Rossellini and the 'lists'. The Friends have a list of celebrities that they are 'allowed' to sleep without anyone getting upset. Ross has Isabella Rossellini on his, but he subsititutes her out for a local celebrity because he thinks that the chances of meeting her are higher. Ironically, Isabella walks into the coffee house after he does this :) (Chandler has Jessica Rabbit on his - an unlikely encounter in the land of the living methinks but a worthy choice nonetheless)

Anyhow, I thought I'd compile my own list except I have 10 on mine rather than 5. And I have both a list of female and male celebrities.. It's more a list of the celebrities who I find most attractive.

It's taken me over a month to compile and still I'm not 100% happy with it. That just shows how fickle I am I suppose :) The names aren't in any particular order (that would take even longer)

The Gents

Tom Cruise
Brad Pitt
Edward Norton
Orlando Bloom
Joaquin Phoenix
Aidan Gillen
Jonathan Rhys Meyer
Aaron Kwok
Jude Law
Ralph Fiennes

The Ladies

Keira Knightley
Scarlett Johansson
Catherine Zeta Jones
Uma Thurman
Tia Carrere
Monica Belucci
Linda Fiorentino
Marisa Tomei
Rachel Weisz
Avril Lavigne

It's amazing the things you can think about when at work and really not interested in what you are doing :)

Turning a corner

I seem to have hit a bit of a reading frenzy of late - I am buying more books than I have time to read. Finally having finished Non-Fiction (pure genius), I have hit an experimental phase of books.

One book, more of a comedy read than anything, opened my eyes to a new stress-release channel that I had not really considered before. It is just a published collection of website postings, chosen to titillate and amuse - but the concept fascinated me no end. The website allows you to post anonymous confessions.. Some are rude, some are crude, some are pretty sad. I read one that I can't get out of my mind:

"I don't use tampons....
or pads......
I use bread."

Another example:

"I just swore on my kid that I'm not sleeping with my friend - but I am, and I might
leave my husband to be with him. But probably not. I really hope the baby wakes up in the morning."

I have been wondering what sort of confessions I would post. And whether they would be truth or lies.

I bought another book today - "in praise of Slow". It's a study in the hectic lives we lead - rushing everywhere, not appreciating those precious moments, going through life at warp speed. It claims to introduce a lifestyle revolution. I could do with one of those. I spend so much time replaying things that happen in my head wondering why I didn't pay more attention at the time. Wondering if things may have happened differently had I done so. Things that I could have said before turning away, things I could have done to prolong a precious moment. I'm not a great believer in self-help books, I don't tend to read non-fiction as I am heavily into escapism, I seek solace in denial despite the cynic in me crying to escape. 4 chapters into The Corporation and I am wondering what hope there is left for us mere mortals.

But with time comes change, and change can lead to progression. My change is to wake up to the truth, perhaps one day I might be able to do something about it.

Happy New Year

I have re-emerged from the depths of nowhere - 3 days holed up in a quaint little cottage with a log fire, ample food, an excess of alcohol and access to a heated indoor pool has rejuvenated me. On New Years Day we all went down to the beach at Westward Ho! (the only place in the UK with an exclamation mark in it's name I believe) despite the bitter cold winds and pouring rain. Glorious.

Now that we've reached 2005 I feel that I should at least commemorate the highlights and lowlights of last year before I can fully start to appreciate the new year so here we go:

Highlights of 2004

• Dodging rockets in Prague on New Years Eve 2003 (also a lowlight as I am petrified of fireworks)


• Singing Bohemian Rhapsody in a Hello Kitty Karaoke bar in Tokyo with Nao and Akiko-san


• Basking in the sun outside the tinfoil marvel that is the Guggenheim in Bilbao


• Meeting my hero Gordon Ramsey at a booksigning in Canary Wharf (mmmmm)


• viperx's leaving drinks - witnessed events that made my jaw drop - even for someone as liberated as me


• Standing on top of a mountain in Jasper - feeling like I was on top of the world - so beautiful it made my heart ache


• Meeting my brethren in the most amazing festival I have seen in Hong Kong. Family is everything.

Lowlights of 2004

• My grandad finally passing away in Hong Kong and not being able to attend the funeral


• The wedding of my uncle to a girl 7 years my junior


• The re-election of George W Bush as US president


• Too many champange hangovers


• Watching so many people I like leave the company I work for


• Turning 25


• Having to quit japanese class as my teacher was crap (gomenesai Nishimura-sensei but it's true)

Hopes for 2005

I have lots of hopes for this year. Some are more realistic than others.
I hope that:

• the process of evolution will speed up and I will grow another 4 inches so that I can reach things


• alternatively sprout wings so I can fly


• Get to JLPT4


• Take a sabbatical and go travelling. Possible destinations: 3 months across China, the Inca Trail, Cambodia, Thailand


• Learn to read maps so I don't get lost whilst travelling


• Learn to pole-dance. Just so I can. (also may come in handy whilst travelling as it earns more money than waitressing)


• kiss someone who thinks I'm wonderful (I copied this from someone else's blog - I think it's lovely)


• The world celebrates the achievers, not the dreamers. I would like to stop thinking and start doing.


• Stop drinking champagne. I am convinced that this will improve my life.

Xmas is over

I had another one of those epic dreams last night that seem to go on forever,
you wake up in the middle of it, and it continues when you fall asleep again.
In this one, the company I work for had organised a trek through the desert. For everyone and it was compulsory. (viper if you are reading this, you made a cameo appearance. For some reason you decided to join us and afterwards disappeared off to eastern europe for some sort of orgy) I don't remember much of the trek - just the sand - and we all piled into tents afterwards for a meal. The whole thing reminded me of the school fun runs we used to have.

The stranger part of my dream was that I was running some kind of zoo in my back garden. It was a very small garden, with a circle of cages running around it, I had a lion, baboons, a gorilla, and other animals that I don't quite remember. I also had a chipmunk.Sadly,it died. The baboon also got sick - but I managed to nurse it to health.

I am so glad that Christmas is over. I ate solidly for three days, so much so that I seem to be permanently hungry. I also lost 2 pounds - I must have a tapeworm. I did pretty well for Christmas this year - I am now the proud owner of a purple candlyfloss maker (a machine which totally exercises ones patience), a chocolate fondue kit, that candy g-string that I asked Santa for (untested), glow-in-the-dark seamonkey aquarium (brings back terrible memories of my uni days) and of course, what every fashionable girl needs, a guide to Minge Topiary.
Oh, and I also got the LOTR Extended Edition box set that I have been waiting 3 years for. That should fill up any spare 12 hours I have going.

So that's it. 2 more days until the end of 2004. And what a year it's been! Probably the busiest and most memorable year of my life. I started this year dodging fireworks in the Czech Republic, I'll be finishing it in a cottage in the West Country - a friend of mine will be bringing his 7ft power kite so watch out - anyone living in Devon :)

Twas the night before Xmas

There are 10 minutes of Christmas Eve left. I find myself wishing that I was someplace else. Despite the fact that we're all supposed to be jolly and festive, I feel less happy than on any normal day.

There is something about Christmastime that makes me feel awfully dejected and lonesome. It's not that I'm alone, my family are at home, but at this time of year I often find myself feeling lonely even though I am surrounded by people. I wonder if that will ever change? I wonder if perhaps it means that I am disconnected from my family, that we are on different wavelengths. Or if it's just this particular holiday.

I also feel wretched as I have been suffering from a cold for 2 days. I haven't been sick at Christmas since 1999 when I had tonsilitis and laryngitis in one hit.

So I'm sitting here trying to think of the things that comfort me when I'm feeling low. My piano. Lying on top of the bed with music on full volume and the lights off. A bath scented with lavender bubbles - temperature so hot I can barely stand it.
Jelly and whipped cream from a can....

2 days and counting

My worldly colleagues explained the 'Wingman' principle to me last night. I guess it could also be called the 'pack pulling' technique. I was rewarded later by not only seeing this technique in action, but by actually experiencing it first-hand.

The principle is simple. Guys pull in pairs, one guy acts as 'wingman' and diverts the attention of the the girl accompanying the 'victim' so that his friend can work his magic on the girl he wants to chat up.
It's a noble sacrifice though I suppose it can also be rewarding for the wingman if the friend is attractive.

My own experience was enlightening to say the least. Whilst chatting to two girlfriends who happened to be having their christmas party locally, a smooth talking guy sidles up and starts on one of my friends. Obviously wanting to broaden his chances of success, he attempted to lure me into his web at the same time. Not wanting to be unsociable, we relented and asked his name and profession to be told that his name was Barry and that he was a dancer. Not just any old dancer but 'MC Hammer' no less. Ever the sceptics, we asked for a demonstration and
were very much disappointed by his moves. Minutes later, his 'friend' appears (with a pint) and pretends to prise Barry away. Unsuccessful, he starts to apologise to me on behalf of Barry and introduces himself. At this point I find out that Barry's real name is actually Dave (?!). Busted!
This duo moved on later to another couple of girls but only managed to hold their attention for 5 minutes.
Guys - it pays to show a little honesty!

Whilst waiting for a tube train home, a guy sitting on the same seat as me remarked on the presents I was holding. Amused (and drunk), I described my gifts - one of them being a small jar of sand from the Sahara that my best friend gave me. I expressed curiosity on the colour of the sand as my memories of the Sahara were of grey sand, and not the beautiful yellow sand in the jar that I was holding. This guy, who was also drunk, told me that he had read recently in a book that the climatic changes in the desert meant that the colour of the sand could change,
and also told me that apparently sand can hold water which means that it is possible for plants to grow seasonally. I haven't as yet verified the facts that he told me but it was kind of surreal to have this kind of conversation when both parties are drunk. We had a further chat on the train about the evolution of men versus animals
and how life boils down to simple binary logic. I never found out this guys name, (although he told me all his children's names), but nevertheless I wish him a very happy Christmas and New Year.

Subtitled in..

It seems that foreign language films have featured pretty heavily on my viewing choices recently.
After the frustrating non-end to the Danish The Kingdom, I followed it up with Luc Besson's La Femme Nikita on Saturday evening. It was the first time I'd seen it - though I have watched the remake (The Assassin avec Bridget Fonda)
quite a few times. The original is, of course, far superior to the remake with exception of Gabriel Byrne who makes a more enigmatic Bob.

Last night I moved to a somewhat more obscure film directed by Jan Svankmajer (Czech) called Little Otik. Now this film was weird.
A similar kind of story to Pinnochio, the film is based on a story about a couple who are infertile but really want a baby. The guy digs up a tree stump which looks a bit like a baby and prunes it down to make arms and legs... It's less of a live action film than an animation with live action scenes - the stop motion sequences give the whole film a deliciously grotesque 'underground film' kind of feel.
I am definitely going to look up some of Svankmajer's other films.

On the opposite scale, I also revisited my childhood by watching a few episodes of Dungeons and Dragons, and Bananaman. They were bad. Especially Bananaman. Good grief, if I had only realised as a child just how camp he was. Still, there's a lesson to be learnt in that as an adult, you should never try to ressurect your childhood - leave them as fond memories! You'll never be able to work out jus t
why you used to love Angel Delight (artificial gunge posing as mousse), Rainbow (smutty kids program full of sexual innuendoes), and Global Hypercolour T-Shirts (which just highlighted how sweaty you were)

lady in red

Well that's the Xmas Party over once again. Much like last year, I left the party sober but this time I stayed until the very end.
Thirsty for more, we moved on for more drinking but despite having gotten home at 3am I still managed to get into work today feeling my usual chirpy self.

This years party was themed on Austin Powers - we had some guy dressed up as Austin, a very attractive Felicity Shagwell in a black catsuit and some
lovely ladies in black and white outfits. So we had dancing and we had drinking and some eating - it was all good fun and the only vicious rumour I have
heard this morning was that a certain lady in the office got rather intimate with the shoeshine guy... Though what the shoeshine guy was doing at the
party was anyones guess - he wasn't shining shoes that's for sure.
My nightmare with outfits was also unrealised - my red Karen Millen dress was very popular and I made some new friends whose names I don't remember.

I have a quiet weekend ahead, I'm on call and have to be up at 7am tomorrow to check our overnight processing so I don't expect to be up to
much. As I'm on call, that's my excuse to avoid Christmas shopping!
An unexpected blessing perhaps.

Starbucks and software design principles

I read this great article on boingboing.net - and I was impressed. Much could be said about that institution that is Starbucks but this is not what I would have had in mind.

It made me smile.. but I am a geek.

keeping wired

Intel is right up there in my estimation - purely for this link

It lists hundreds of wireless hotspots all over the world.
Coupled with this gadget (Kensington WiFi finder) and a wifi PDA or laptop, you're well and truly sorted.

Mmm I love gadgets..

dissatisfaction

Noooooooooooooooooo.....
That is so unfair. I've just watched the remaining two episodes of The Kingdom and not only does it not end, but there is a major cliffhanger. Furthermore, they never released the final part outside of Denmark.

Bastards.

I will now be haunted for the rest of the night by the visions of a woman giving birth to a full grown man.

Bovine Blues

Argh the dilemma of having to get up obscenely early in the morning but wanting to watch the end of a very interesting series...
I just watched 3 episodes of Lars Von Triers' "The Kingdom". Episode 3 has just ended on a bit of a cliffhanger and I really want to see how it ends but its almost 1am and I need to be up before 6 to get the train into London. I have bowed out and turned it off but the story and characters keep floating in my mind.
If I am unlucky I will dream about it tonight - and I say unlucky because it is a ghost story...

Haven't achieved anything whatsoever this weekend. I count that as a good thing. Today I had a roast dinner, marvelled at japanese womens wrestling on Sky, spent well over £20 trying to win £6000 on some dumb (highly lucrative) Sky quiz channel, and puzzled over my sick cow. The cow is not milking and in fact has not been 'milkable' since I bought it. Maybe she's sick.

Big feet - big shoes

Well at least Julian Clary didn't win. I was rooting for Denise Lewis personally but the majority was with the other couple.

I ended up watching Notting Hill again on channel 4. I do like this film a lot though it is an incredibly unlikely story. And I actually think Notting Hill is a bit of a dive. Guess you can glamourise just about anything and anywhere with the right camera angles ;)
Rhys Ifans is brilliant in this and for me, I thought that Gina Mckee outshone Julia Roberts in the beauty department.

Something that made me stop and think:- in the film Julia Roberts asks why men are so fascinated with breasts. I have always wondered that as well. They're fatty, functional appendages used for feeding babies. If someone could explain?

Aftermath of a christmas party

Our team christmas party last Thursday was truly excessive. I outdid myself on all counts.For my efforts I now have bruises down one side, my right bum cheek really hurts and I can't sit down without wincing. Walking is also difficult.

The venue for our drinks was the Medicine Bar in Shoreditch. I've never been there before - it's quite nice, 3 storeys with a DJ in the basement. We had the upstairs reserved for us. As it was a manager sponsored event - ie free drinks for us - we didn't hold back and started on the champagne. By now I'm thinking that I should probably have built up some sort of tolerance to that stuff but I got exceedingly inebriated anyway and ended up falling down the stairs. At the time I was more bothered about losing my champagne glass to the floor, by the time I got home I was starting to feel the pain.

The best and worst things about the 'day after' are hearing about the things that you allegedly did and said whilst grossly drunk. I was particularly embarrassed when my manager told me that he remembered picking me up off the floor at one point (absent from my memory), me feeding him pistachios whilst he was trying to talk, and me telling him how much I hated my last manager (who stills works for the bank). Plenty of blackmail opportunities there then.

So now I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend, I have come back to my weekend retreat in the country where everything shuts down at 5pm. I might have a little pasta, a glass of wine or two and settle in to the final of Strictly Come Dancing.
Please please please do not let Julian Clary win - he can't dance for beans.

in stasis

There's a knot at the pit of my stomach which doesn't seem to go away whatever I do. (and I don't think it has to do with that spicy bowl of noodles my brother just made me)

I think it's fear.

I am usually quite a confident person. I like to think that I know what I'm doing, what I want to be doing and what I need to be doing to achieve what I want from life. Today is different. I don't think I've ever felt so unsure of myself. I find myself questioning everything - does it really matter, is it really what I want, is it really that important to me. And I have no answers. I sometimes worry that I take life a little too seriously, that I always make the 'right' choices rather than trusting in my instincts.

I'm probably more than a little influenced by a friend I had dinner with the other night who has spent 18 months travelling around Asia and Australia. Listening to his stories about trekking in Nepal and learning to cook in Thailand I have the greatest urge to sell my house, quit my job and disappear for a year. I'd love to visit Cambodia, to travel through China, have fun in Australia, learn a new language or two. I'd love to do this before it's too late and I get too comfortable in my life. Fear holds me back. I'm torn between travelling, and quitting my job anyway to pursue something new, a dream of mine.

I have so many choices. So many possibilities. I'm petrified of heights, I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff peering over. I can retreat to safety or grab a parachute and make the jump. Or I can do what I feel like I'm doing now - stand and falter.

I used to be so scared of ending up having a 'mundane' life. So scared I sought a reverend for advice and counselling. Now I find it staring me in the face and I don't know which way to go.

Maybe I'll sleep on this.

Rebirth

I feel totally rejuvenated today. It's like the mist that has been hanging all around me suddenly cleared this morning and I am back to my usual self.
I didn't even realise how much I have changed in the last few months, not until this morning. I feel more confident, more focussed and more motivated than I have for a long time.

I haven't had the most exciting day really, my plans of cultivating my sense of culture was rudely disturbed by the sadly lacking IT skills of my mother, and so I have had to travel all the way to the Essex coast to fix up her pc. Not the best way to spend my Saturday, doing windows updates and installing virus software, but I guess spending time with family is pretty important. And it will definitely handy to be able to email my parents from work :)
Tonight, I will be expecting my dad to accompany me down to the casino where I will enjoy a nice dinner and ogle at the male croupiers, I mean play a few hands of poker.

No doubt tonight the essex flyboys will be out in full force with their Supra bodykits and shiny blue lights. I guess there is culture to be had anywhere :)

Yuletide feelings

It's been a long old day. Oddly, as soon as I left the house to go to work I felt somewhat more cheerful - but that was probably because I'd just walked past that inflatable snowman, who has now been joined by an equally awful inflatable Father Christmas.

My day at work was the worst Friday that I've had to endure for a long time, leading to the latest that I've had to stay in the office on a Friday for months. Still, I was able to maintain my usual cheerful self despite it all. Plus that greasy breakfast really helped :)

I was soo surprised in the afternoon when I received an email from that architect guy I met last night! Obviously I must have given him my email address as well and completely forgotten all about it. It turns out that his company also kitted out our latest office down the road... Oh well, I'm sure that it's always useful to know an architect or two.

Tomorrow I have the dubious pleasure of having to sort out my mum's PC. She is a broadband newbie (and a PC one at that) and was perplexed when she couldn't access any secure sites. Well, actually, she had no idea that was the problem but thats beside the point. I spent 30 minutes on the phone to her today during my lunch break trying to teach her how to logon to windows as admin and then doing a windows update. It was no go for the windows update and too painful for words for me to continue so I will have to pay her a visit instead :( At least she lives 5 minutes from the seaside... mmmmm fresh donuts!

Right, I am now off to cook myself some dinner and then watch a dvd.
I really fancy watching The Godfather all of a sudden..

Cocoon

Sometimes this blog feels like my lifeline. No matter how bad I feel, I can let the words flow and with each word that hits the screen, my stress diminishes.

Today, early in the morning after two nights of excess, I feel like retreating into a shell. I don't feel like talking to anyone and remorse has hit me like a tornado on an open plain. I'm not even sure that these words make sense but this therapy eases a little the confusion that I feel. I guess it was yet another big night for me, in fact if I really think about it I met some very interesting people. I have in my bag the email address of an architect currently working on a big project for Imperial College, whose small Xmas get-together I crashed when I saw their table of food :) Confronted by this guy when I stole a prawn cracker - he scolded me for being so selfish and not stealing food for my friends!

At a different point in the evening, I approached a guy sitting on his own for a cigarette - now I don't smoke but being somewhat drunk, when one of my party asked me to get a cigarette off a complete stranger I complied without even thinking. Now this guy was cool - he was like a Dixons sales person who got lucky and landed a job in real IT. He was apparently waiting for his girlfriend who was a stripper/pole dancer?? And yes he gave me a cigarette no questions - even when I said I didn't smoke :)

Despite all this I feel wretched, jaded and furious. I can't sleep so I am probably going to get up. That's even earlier than yesterday when I woke at 7am and got to work by 8.30! Today I am going to go to work, shut out the rest of the world with my iPod and have an early night snuggled with my stuffed panda.

I told you I was a team player

I had some trouble sleeping last night. Suddenly wide awake at 4am I contemplated actually getting up and perhaps reading a book or something but knowing that it would wreck any chances of doing anything constructive at work today I tried to go back to sleep. In actual fact, this is the best way of getting REM sleep - thus making sure that you have dreams. And dream I did....

In one part of my dream it was snowing. I was inside a building which looked a little like a school classroom with my brother, and housemate and some other people I don't remember. We started having a snowball fight with people downstairs outside the building. Somehow we were hanging out of the windows and making snowballs directly from the falling snow...

In a second part of my dream I was stood outside in a field, well technically, on a rugby pitch. I was surrounded
by the rest of my work team who were all kitted up. One of my colleagues was teaching me how to play rugby...
Incidentally he was a really good teacher and I scored my first try in minutes :)
Impressed, the rest of my team started debating teaching me how to scrum at which point I woke up. Probably just as well - not sure I really fancied it :)

Some stories have no morals

A little girl is skipping down the road holding a balloon. She loves this balloon - it's in the shape of a bunny and the ears flop up and down as she walks along. Suddenly, the little girl sees a lone balloon flying low across the road just up ahead. It's in the shape of a goldfish, it has a beautiful fantail streaming behind it. Mesmerised by the swishing tail, she runs after the goldfish with all the energy and speed she can muster.

Eventually, she manages to catch up with the goldfish balloon and she clutches it happily. She carries on down the road, skipping and singing. After a while, the two balloons start to get tangled up. The bunny ears get caught up in the goldfish tail and the little girl stops. She realises sadly that she cannot have both balloons and she must decide which one she wants to keep. She sits down on a rock and compares the two balloons.

The little girl sighs because she cannot decide. "Oh which one should I keep?" she says out loud.
"You must keep the bunny" says a little voice next to her. She looks down to see a small dog sitting by her feet.
"Why?" she asks.
"Because you don't know who the goldfish balloon belongs to. There could be another little girl running around trying to find her lost balloon.. "
The little girl pouts. She doesn't want to lose the fish balloon because she is fascinated by it's bright colours and swishing tail but she knows that the little dog is right.
"What shall I do with this balloon then?"
"You should go back to where you found it and let it go. Then either it's owner will find it, or it will find a new owner." The dog replies wisely.

The little girls sighs again and then nods. Giving the dog a pat on the head, she runs back to where she found the goldfish balloon, gives it a kiss goodbye and releases it. She feels sad to watch it float away but she is sure that
she did the right thing.

Alone with her bunny balloon again, she carries on down the road. She doesn't skip any longer but keeps an eye out for other little girls who may be looking for a goldfish balloon. Moments later, a very cute little girl appears coming
down the lane the other way. She has a large frown on her sweet face and as she gets closer, our little girl notices that this other little girl is covered in cuts and bruises.
"Excuse me!" says our little girl to the other little girl. The other little girl looks up and stops. She sees our little girl clutching a cute bunny balloon with floppy ears and suddenly goes berserk.
"You stole my balloon! How dare you! I've been looking and looking and looking for that balloon. Don't think that you're going to get away with this you thief!!"
The cute little girl with the cuts and bruises pulls out a big carving knife from her pocket and stabs our little girl in the heart. 10 times. As our little girl slumps to the ground, the cute little girl grabs the bunny balloon and disappears back down the lane, skipping.

I'm now late for work

Good god. Just woke from horrible nightmare - it was the day before the Christmas Party and I couldn't get ready. In my dream I actually must have tried on about 100 outfits and disliked them all. Reality check. It's really not that important. I obviously need to get out a little more.

It's interesting though how I had a nightmare about this when I watched a really nasty japanese horror the night before and didn't. Does that say something about my personality perhaps?

What not to wear

It's that time of year again. The Christmas Party.

I should be sensible enough not to worry about this. I mean, all the guys on my team just turn up to the party in whatever they were wearing to work that day. It's more difficult for the ladies. It's just not acceptable to do that so I have found myself thinking about what I need to wear these past two days.
Thankfully it's not a formal do, just smart casual is fine. I can be dressy if I feel like it. I've seen this gorgeous (if a tiny bit tarty) dress at Karen Millen that I am tempted to buy. It's bright red, satin, and backless. My dilemma is, I'd like to feel that I can wear what I like, whatever makes me feel confident, but I also don't want to er, attract too much attention from the rest of the team. I'd never hear the end of it! So I think I will probably wear something a little more conservative. With large splits down the side :P It was suggested the other night that I wear a bikini but I highly doubt I will following that particular piece of advice..

It's here

Wow! You can now buy Flip Flap in the UK!

where is that baseball bat?

I feel really distracted this afternoon. Can't quite concentrate on my work. Perhaps it has something to do with that enormous ebi curry I had at lunchtime..

My irritation levels have been quite high today as well. There is this annoying girl who sits behind me with the most irritating voice and she has been yakking away all morning about iPods and iBooks and other stuff which doesn't interest me so much. I left my iPod at home today since it didn't fit in todays handbag so I cannot drown her voice out.
In addition to that I am trying to break in a new pair of shoes and my feet are killing me.
I am tempted to pop down to the pub after work to de-stress but I keep remembering this article I read in the paper last week about how something like 70% of workers are turning to alcohol due to stress problems and I am determined not to be
part of that statistic :)

Bah humbug

One of the things that I hate about Xmas (in addition to the blatant commercialism of Christmastime in general) are the Christmas shoppers.

I popped into the West End yesterday to go to Hamleys. I wanted to buy my 13 year old cousin a birthday present. OMG what a mistake! Not only was the inside of the shop totally crowded but so was the pavement outside!! Still, I was determined to make a purchase so I bravely fought my way in. Luckily, I was rewarded by a man (or woman) dressed up as a giant Jelly Belly Jellybean who handed me some free jellybeans. Anyway, I managed to get my cousin his present but I have to say, to all those kids out there - you had better be damn grateful to those parents of yours who must have gone to a lot of trouble to buy those toys for you for Christmas!

It always amuses me how early Christmas starts. Even in September, the supermarkets will start selling mince pies, the card shops will cram their birthday cards into the back of the shop and replace them with overpriced Xmas cards, restaurants start advertising their Christmas Menus and HMV stocks up on DVD Boxsets ("Ideal Xmas Gifts!") On Monday I spotted the first inflatable snowman erected outside a house on the way to work. The Christmas lights on Oxford Street are already up. It's all mad mad mad. Part of me wants to boycott Christmas (I'd already decided that I'm only buying people boxes of biscuits), and the other half is mesmerised by the sparkling, shiny christmas gifts in the shops. Speaking of which, I walked into the new Apple shop on Regent Street and I really really think that I need the new 60GB all colour iPod which displays photos. I know that I already have an iPod. It doesn't matter. I could have two. And guess what, just in time for Xmas they have also released a special U2 edition of the iPod. It's black and red and funky as hell.

The best part of my shopping trip yesterday was a quick trip into Schuh. I discovered a great way of overcoming my short stature - massive shoes! Now I tried buying a pair of stilettoes a couple of months back but they are really really difficult to walk in. I have no idea how those models manage to walk in them, I've even seen girls run wearing them! Anyhow, I managed to find a gigantic pair of trainers that make me really tall. Well, normal height anyway :)

Height Gain Trick

Damn I think I was ripped off.

Dear Santa

Please please please give me one of these for Christmas. I've been a good girl - honest.

Late night ramblings

Thank god for English tea. With full fat milk. And Rich Tea biscuits, or even chocolate digestives. (McVities of course)

Despite my fantasies about relocating to another country to do something fabulously different, I have my reservations about leaving the things I love best behind. Now I've travelled a fair amount, I've been to the US, Canada, Hong Kong, China, Italy, France, Czech Republic and so on. Out of all the places I've been, I wouldn't
mind working in Canada, or Italy, or Japan, but the problem is, nowhere I have ever been can make a decent cup of tea. Either the tea is bad, or the milk is crap. Let's not even bother talking about tea in the US - it doesn't exist. It's so sad. My life without decent tea couldn't be worth living. I'd give up my iPod, my digital
camera, maybe even my treasured Celestion speakers.

I suppose it wouldn't be all that bad. Even flying to New Zealand is only a day away. I have plenty of contacts here to send me staples like biscuits, chocolate and tomato ketchup.

Anyway, back to Hong Kong. It's an interesting place. Lots of noise, people and animals. Last year I was there the breaking news was an escaped crocodile roaming around the New Territories. They flew in Australian experts to catch it but they failed miserably, despite the camera crews being able to get footage of it
swimming along the rivers around where my mum grew up. They should have gotten Steve Irwin in.
The things I noticed about Hong Kong this time round were that

a) they don't believe in small fines - smoking in a non-designated place will cost you a $5000 fine.
Littering, spitting, eating and drinking in train stations will cost you between $1000-$3000. I think that
the local councils in the UK should take note.
b) they don't believe in hurrying. anywhere.

I will be the first to admit that working in the city for 4 years has made me somewhat of a hardened Tube commuter.
I have mellowed somewhat in the more recent years but the London commuter is a highly strung, easily frustrated sort. I don't really blame them, given that the cost of travelling is high and the service poor. I read in the Metro recently that they've agreed a deal where Tube workers will have a reduced working week to 35 hours and 52 days holiday a year. I can only dream. The only time I get to work
a 35 hour working week is if I have a day off. Anyway, I digress. The point is that everyone in Hong Kong walks like my 80 year old grandma. Now she has bad knees so I can excuse her walking slow but the rest of the country? I don't even know
how it's possible to walk that slow, it's almost painful to follow their pace. Coupled with the fact that due to the new road safety campaigns the populace doesn't jaywalk any longer and waits patiently for the red man to turn green it makes
walking around Hong Kong very slow and frustrating.

I've just noticed a woodlouse walking halfway up the wall. I think it's amazing that they can do that so nonchalantly.
It kinds of makes me wonder why humans haven't evolved any more - when are we going to be able to walk up walls? It would come in so handy! So I could understand that perhaps the height imbalance makes walking upright impossible
but I'd settle for being able to crawl :)

*****

It's been a busy week back at work. I was most surprised at the beginning of the week to discover that I had acquired a prank caller - someone who would ring and then hang up when I answered. Someone who also left me an answerphone message of them hanging up. Luckily they seemed to have given up calling now. My 'not-secret' admirer paid me a visit today - he was apparently down to see a different colleague who is on holiday this week so he thought perhaps that I might be able to help. I wasn't. It seems so complicated, this modern day political correctness -
and the eggshells of opposite-sex relationships. Perhaps I should invite this guy down to the pub so we could both get drunk and I could ask him straight out and lay things out in the open. I guess it wouldn't really help all that much even if I knew, and a little demoness inside also thinks it would spoil half the fun. :)

I was watching the Miss World lineup this evening. Besides wondering how on earth Miss UK had been nominated when I've seen total strangers on the tube more attractive, I have always wondered exactly what the point of the competition is.
And why on earth these women would waste their time trying to win it. Yeah sure, there is a reasonable cash prize but surely there are other types of modelling offering much more rewarding financial perks, and also the bonus of being taken a little more seriously? The whole idea of a competition in which hundreds of young, gorgeous women parade in neon bikinis seems too much
like a man's idea :) It's all too superficial for me and I probably wouldn't appreciate the program like a guy would but it's still fun to bitch about each candidate. Having said that, Miss Japan, Miss Korea, Miss Malaysia and Miss Dominican
Republic would definitely do it for me. Speaks volumes about my taste in women ;)

I just visited the website www.missworld.tv and discovered this:

"Simon Cowell’s latest musical protégés Il Divo and multi-Grammy award winning soul sensation Lionel Richie are both confirmed to perform live at the Miss World 2004. The Chinese hosts of the 2004 event are so thrilled at his attendance that 3rd December, the day Lionel Richie arrives in China, has been declared National Lionel Richie Day by the Chinese Government."

Wonder how Simon Cowell felt about that. Also must find out what the chinese are expected to do on National Lionel Richie Day...

Oh those hairfree days

Tomorrow evening I fly to Hong Kong.

It's been a long old day. People seem to instinctively know that you are about to go on holiday and give you more work even if you don't mention it. I'm not the type to screen my calls but it's been oh so tempting this week. It's almost easier not to go on holiday.

I decided to let my vanity win out and pulled out that "painfree no heat wax" solution to wax my legs. Oddly, it's called Nads. Perhaps not so odd (it's made in Australia) and is complete natural. It's funny stuff, very thick like molasses, only bright green. It smells delicious! The down side is - it's NOT PAIN FREE! There is no such thing as painfree waxing. I can only console myself that at least I'm not paying someone else to hurt me. I bet there are plenty of people who would gladly do it for free! It seems to work fairly well anyhow though I had to give up after 20 minutes as the pain got to me. I will just have to shave the rest.

Oh and I have managed to avoid my admirer for two days. Whilst he has been lurking in our area a number of times I have managed to be away from my desk each time. Hmm our Xmas party invites came out today. Must remember to check the guest list tomorrow to see if he has already RSVPed.

The thoughtlessness of some

I'm feeling furious,anxious,scared,distracted,upset. All those things and all because of one sentence.
10 words.

What the hell is someone supposed to do when a friend emails you saying goodbye, enjoy the rest of your life, I'm off??
It's been two days. There is no response to phonecalls or email. We don't have any other mutual friends so I can't ask
around.

I've lost track of where he is staying because he moves around a bit - he likes to pop off down to Exeter from time to
time so it's not unusual for him not to be home.

The more I think about it the angrier I feel. It's such a fucked up thing to do. Even if he has done something stupid
I can feel no sympathy. This isn't the way you treat your friends. Just like committing suicide by parking your car on a level
crossing causing a train to crash and 5 other people to die is a real shitty thing to do.

All I can do is hope that he is alright because I have no other way of finding out. His mobile phone rings but no one picks up.
Sometimes it goes straight to answerphone.
Baka!

A moment of clarity

Someone told me that I was a real flirt today. (this was shortly before he tried to help me 'wipe' something off my skirt) I denied this vehemently at the time but now that I am home I am wondering if perhaps I am not as prudish and modest as I should be. Maybe I should have told that 47 year old the other night to fuck off rather than simply politely decline to accept his offer of a drink.

Have also confirmed my belief that the people I work with are also obsessed with toilets. Apparently there is a toilet 'shadow' - ie a guy who has a daily wank in the toilets on the 4th. This man has been identified and I greatly look forward to seeing who he is tomorrow. Not that I see anything particularly wrong with that kind of activity - I mean, perhaps he is really stressed at work but still, there is something delicious about scandal.

In my next life...

. 

Follow that NavBar

My NavBar appears to have gone rogue. Now whilst it has been some time since I last
wrote any HTML or played with style sheets, I still remember how to do it and no amount of template fiddling will fix it.

Ho hum. It will have to live there like that for a while.

Eulogy to a custard tart

I feel sooo happy for this custard tart. In less than a minute it will have fulfilled its only purpose in life. It can die (?) happy knowing that its brief existence in the universe has given me a little happiness and that I will have appreciated and ravished it with my undivided attention.

This beautiful tart with its wonderfully crusty outer pastry and delicate eggy aroma. The careful sprinkling of cinnamon across the top.

RIP

Breathing deep

I have spent the day alternating between being extremely pissed off and frustrated and between feeling unhappy. It's not pleasant to be working around people when you're feeling a bit like a coiled spring ready to disappear into neverwhere.
It certainly doesn't help when certain individuals find any old excuse to swing round my desk to chat when I have neither the time nor the capacity to answer those type of questions. Perhaps I am being paranoid but:
a) This person has visited my desk 4 times in the last 2 days
b) This person decided not to answer my email or phone with an answer but insisted on coming to my desk in person with their answer
c) Whilst at my desk this person wanted to spend 2 secs to ask another 'favour' outside of my department
d) This person sits 2 floors above me and has to wait for a lift to get to my desk!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Time to leave work and get on with my life.

Testing testing

I cannot understand what it is about fireworks that people love.

Maybe it's because I don't love them. Maybe that's because around this time of year it always seems as if the world is

about to end.

 

There is only one place I have ever been who seem to love fireworks more. Prague on NYE. I have never seen people

walking about the streets with rockets sticking out of the handbags and pockets before. Neither have I ever experienced

standing in a public square with rockets and other such explosives flying about peoples heads as if they were merely confetti.

I doubt I will ever venture there again for New Years - crazy people live there.

 

resolution

I was obviously more drunk than I realised last night.
Woke up at 3am and was horribly sick. Went back to bed and was pursued by nightmares of production support and unfinished sql queries running through my head.
I'm never drinking again.

End of an era

I've just had a few (ahem!) Friday drinks at the Poet. Apparently they have painted over the porn in the mens toilets. Just as well I had a guided tour recently of the adult artwork recently :)

I also have this vague recollection of the ladies toilets having been repainted too. White clouds and lots of red hearts... And the toilets are now a splendid putrid green. Perhaps they got Linda Barker in??

Bright eyes

My eyes are looking a little swollen today. I'm not sure why this as I actually went to bed early for once.

I had a strange dream last night. Parts of it are more vivid than others.
I was in a restaurant toilet. There was only one toilet with a sink and lockable door - no cubicles. As I went to lock the door,
a rather overweight lady walked in. As I wasn't about to do my business with her watching, I asked her politely if she could
wait outside and she said no! An argument ensued and then we started having a waterfight at the sink.
After a while we took the fight outside the ladies toilet and I returned to my table except this fat lady followed me and started throwing food
at from other tables to which my response was to throw food back. Unfortunately for me, I think this woman was a better shot than me
and managed to give me a black eye by throwing a dinner plate.

So I'm wondering again this morning why my eyes are swollen.

Lament of a non politician

Disillusioned is how I feel today. Plagued by disturbing dreams of earthquakes and strange women doing business
on our driveway I was not happy to see that we may have not seen the end of the farce that has been the leadership in the US.
How did this happen? Did the citizens of America really choose the guy with the peasized brain who most likely needs aid
to tie his shoelaces? After the urges from Michael Moore, the celebrities, and every website I have visited in the last
2 months who have declared themselves pro-Kerry, where does this support for Bush come from?

Today I feel sorry for the Americans, sorry for the poor victims on George W Bush's to-do list and sorry for us poor
Britons who will continue to be caught in the mess. As I see it, the future of the UK rests in the hands of the US President.
I don't think it's ever been particularly relevant who our Prime Minister is, our long term alliance with the USA has always held us to ransom. Taxes always goes up, the NHS has always been bad, these things don't change but the worldwide
perception of this country does. I don't want to be cast out when I go on holiday because the US President wants to play with his
toys.

I've never believed in politics and today has reinforced that. I've never believed in god either but if there is one, please please please put things right..

Sweet dreams tonight

I've gotten used to people leaving now. I've been so busy recently that I haven't even been able to think too much about the people who have gone but right now I suddenly miss them.

It's strange how all our lives intertwine and then separate, sometimes permanently. Some links are ever so brief, so fleeting that by the time they are broken you wonder if it ever really happened. I wish that I could pick a day that everyone who I ever met could be in one place for a reunion. It would have to be a really long day so that I could be able to speak to everyone and reminisce about the time we met. Of course, there are those who I never want to see ever again and things would be very awkward should we be in the same room.

We're in the closing hours of the US elections. I feel like I'm looking at the dawn of a new generation. I think more depends on the outcome of this election than we could imagine and yet life continues as ever.

ii desu ne...

Satellite TV is an amazing thing. I feel much more human today after a reasonable amount
of sleep (plus that extra hour due to the clocks changing back) and on this relaxing
Sunday afternoon I came across what I originally thought was a completely pointless
channel.

If you have Sky TV, you can literally spend an entire day channel flicking, even
without the Movie or Sports channels. From shopping channels, Live auction channels,
religious fanaticism channels, to the semi-naked ladies in good taste Fashion TV.
Once evening comes, you get the text message dating channels (each text only costs £1!),
the remarkable Babecast channels (mostly naked ladies who apparently talk live to viewers
whilst fondling each other at text request). However, I would still have to question the
entertainment value of the Advert Channel. Just as the name suggests, the entire point
of this channel is to show adverts all day long. And it's great!
As long as you're over the age of 15. You get to request your favourite adverts - and they
have a website where you can download such classics as the JR Hartley Flyfishing advert
(Yellow Pages), the Secret Lemonade Drinker ad (R Whites), and a recent favourite of mine -
the HSBC advert with the eels. Here's the url:


http://www.theadvertchannel.tv/index.asp

Speaking of adverts, I'm currently obsessed with an advert by 3 featuring a giant body bopping jellyfish. It's a must-see!! You can see it here :)

http://www.welcometoplanet3.com/home.html

Here comes the sun

Well, it's all over. The wedding that is.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Despite the complete inadequacy of the groom to
be organised, the fact that the best man was younger than the bride and had never been to a wedding
since prepuberty (is that a word?!), and the torrential rain that we endured the night before the Big Day,
it all went fairly smoothly. Of course, perhaps if the interpreter for the bride had turned up any later there
may not have been a wedding at all. And if the interpreter had not been told by the registrar that it
was not necessary for her to repeat the vows for the bride to mimic, then we may have witnessed the groom
getting married to two women that day. Stupid cow.

So despite everything, I enjoyed myself. I played with my little cousins, gossipped with my older cousins,
ate a stupendous 10 course wedding banquet and took hundreds of pictures of the compulsory games traditionally
played on the newlyweds. And then I went home to sleep it all off.

I feel like 100 years old today. I haven't had enough sleep since I was in Canada. My waking time is merging with
my sleeping time so life seems pretty surreal at times.
On a brighter note, 2 weeks today, I will be flying for a week away with my family to Hong Kong. It's going to be warm
and sunny there with cheap food and cheap gadgets, the exact thing I need. Hell, anything to get away from this rain.

Beauty and the Beast

I think I've just fallen in love.

I've just come back from the pub and switched on Sky. Somehow ended up watching a rerun of Rod Stewart playing at the Albert Hall. He introduces his backing singer, a busker from the streets of Glasgow, her name is Amy Bell.

She is beautiful. Dark, dark hair framing a pale waif-like face, her voice is husky and sexy. She is the embodiment of Neil Gaiman's Death.

I'm not into women in particular, I have no lesbian tendencies (contrary to belief)
, but I saw her and she moved me. I hope that she gets a record contract because she deserves one - I'd love to hear her voice again. Not sure that I'd fly to Glasgow to see her busking though :)

warning: `class x has virtual functions but non-virtual destructor`

I'm not much of a philosophist but I have spent many
an hour discussing with my friends our beliefs in
the existence of a higher being vs the concept of fate.

Fate or coincidence?

It is my uncle's birthday today. The very same one
getting married next Monday. He is 33.
By strange coincidence, his girlfriend is 19 today. Given the
circumstances of their introduction, it is a highly
improbable event. (not that she is 19, but that she was
born on exactly the same day 14 years before)

This leads me to thinking about the odd parallel between
my uncle and his first real girlfriend and me and my first boyfriend. My boyfriend was the same age as my uncle, and
my uncle's girlfriend the same age as me. The difference
between his and her birthdays was the same as between mine
and his.

I don't really believe in coincidence. I pretty much think
that our lives are predetermined from the start. And it helps. I can take on a much more laidback approach to life
as I have no real power to change it.

This isn't really suitable for blogging but whilst I'm
watching my code compile my mind is wandering to other things :)

Cubicle communication

One day this week I was sat in a cubicle in the ladies toilet at work, minding my own business, when I hear a beeping a couple of cubicles down from me. The frequency of the beeps indicated that someone was typing a text message whilst sat on the toilet. I thought this was very strange and somewhat annoying. I mean, the ladies toilet should be a sanctuary, but this mystery girl had invaded it with her incessant beeping. I don't like to gripe too often but do people not know how to switch off their keytones??

Anyway, I left the ladies and went back to my desk to continue with my work.
An hour or so later, I went back to the ladies (too much tea). Whilst sat on the toilet, again I heard that same beeping. Same cubicle! I couldn't believe that she had been sat locked in a cubicle texting for over an hour, but then I didn't think that she would have left and then come back to do more texting.. Who and why would someone bring their mobile phone into the toilet with them? (aside from the Mobile Phone Girl, who I'm positive is a completely separate person)

It's a mystery.

Here comes the rain

I feel like a fish who has just resurfaced to take a gulp of air. It's been busy. Stressful actually.I'm usually a very rational and collected but I've been seriously overcommitted this month.

I have a dress now. It's not pink but the palest shade of lilac. It's simple and silky and exactly what I was looking for. It even makes me look a little taller! The rest of the wedding plans are in hand, if not planned to perfection. I even know what the bride-to-be's name is now, which helps when you have to be the witness.

I've just looked out of the window. The rain is bucketing down like there's no tomorrow. Good thing I left early this morning. Rain usually depresses me but today it feels soothing.

Always the Bridesmaid never the Bride

In just over two weeks I am going to be the bridesmaid in a wedding that I don't approve of.
The groom is seven years older than me and the bride is seven years younger than me.
She is also to be my aunt, which throws my mind into absolute confusion and denial.
I suppose that I should be more open-minded and liberal but I'm struggling on that front.

At least my dress no longer has to be pink, though given my current lack-of-dress status, and the fact that I have too much work on to be shopping for one, even a pink dress may have been preferable. It's all too much for me to take.

Sigh.

Retrospective

I'm back!

It's been a helluva two weeks. Got back into Stansted at 5-30am, am now back at home, showered and feeling a little tired.
It was a little difficult to log my adventures since I was constantly on the move. In the last 14 days I have changed hotels 9 times. And of course, by the time I got myself to a PC of some sort, the moment had gone :)

So now that I am back and trying my best to refrain from jumping straight into bed, I thought I would do a little recap of my fortnight away.

Day One

Flight to Vancouver, on arrival was picked up by limo to our hotel. I was struck by the similarity of this city to Hong Kong island. Lots of wide open roads and shiny skyscrapers. Went to bed very early as was horrendously jetlagged.

Day Two

Explored Vancouver. Did the usual touristy things like visit the Aquarium (they had Beluga whales there which were really really cute), strolled around Stanley Park (was more like a 5 mile walk), Chinatown. We walked through the down and out areas of the city - gee, if this is as bad as it gets, then I'm moving here.

Day Three

First hotel transfer. We moved to a hotel about 3 blocks away closer to the harbourfront. Did some more exploring - saw the biggest cruise ships I have ever seen in my entire life. Can they really fill all these with people? I found out later that one of the ships I saw had been contaminated with the Norwalk virus. Wasn't quite so keen to go on it after that :)

Day Four

This was the day I had been waiting for. We boarded the Rocky Mountaineer which would get us to Banff in two days with a one night stop in Kamloops. There was a lot of excitement in the air as we waited to get on. I was bemused to see that we were the youngest group of passengers (with exception of a small toddler). There is a lot of fuss over this privately owned train, each carriage has it's own attendant who rushes around giving a running commentary on the sights in between dishing out snacks and coffees.
It took some 8 hours to get to Kamloops where we disembarked. On this day we had seen a total of 2 black bears (black specks in the distance), a bald headed eagle and lots of cows.

Kamloops is a smallish town with just under 90000 residents. I was expecting to find only a gas station and a corner shop but to my surprise there were lots of bars and restaurants. Whilst nursing a v+c at the local Irish pub, I pondered over the movies I had ever seen about people being born in towns like this and never being able to leave. I guess I could imagine it in a place like this.

Day Five

We resumed our journey into the Canadian Rockies. Saw some pretty funky sights and some breath taking scenery. Also spotted lots of osprey nests and 1 osprey. Still no moose and the only bear I saw was a loggerhead one :)
I was a bit tired of the whole charade by this point as there is only so much sitting and eating you can do in a day. By the time we got into Banff I was more than eager to go. Greeted by the resident mounted police we all piled into couches for hotel transfers and then stared open jawed at the castle-like Banff Springs hotel when we pulled up. It's like a fairy castle in the middle of snowcapped mountains. Equipped with multiple restaurants, shops, 5 pin bowling alley and an outside heated pool, I was in 7th heaven.
As if we hadn't eaten enough already, we spent the evening in a local fondue restaurant dipping strange meats such as rattlesnake, ostrich and buffalo into miscellaneous sauces whilst glugging the local brew. Fondues always brings back childhood memories of reading Asterix. Strange that.

Day 6

Went for a coach tour of local Banff. I hate coach tours, all that getting on and getting off the coach and taking photos. This one was much the same, waterfall here, mountain there, and yet another lake. Pile on, pile off. Toilet breaks. We were taken to this cave with a hot spring - $4 normal entry to see a smelly cave and some bubbling water. There were lots of signs warning us not to put our hands in the water (as if!) because there was a species of snail in the water that only existed in these particular pools. Makes you wonder if there is even any point in preserving a species that doesn't exist in the normal food chain.

The highlight of this day was a gondola ride to the top of Sulphur Mountain followed by a trek up to the top of the mountain. I really live for moments like these where I find such natural beauty that it takes your breath away and brings a lump to your throat. Yes I took pictures but I doubt that they could ever convey that moment as I lived it.

Day 7

Another transfer to Lake Louise. As I may have mentioned earlier, there is not much village to speak of in Lake Louise. There is the main lake (so named after Queen Victoria's daughter), the hotel which sits in front of it (Chateau Lake Louise) and the village, which is a 45 minute walk away. Thus we resigned ourselves to spending a very relaxing couple of days at the hotel.

The first thing we did was to indulge in some proper afternoon tea overlooking the lake. This was a very 'english' affair with cucumber sarnies and cream scones.

One thing to note about this hotel - it was used as the main set in the film The Shining. I was slightly freaked out when I realised the deja vu I was feeling on the way to my room was down to the fact that it was the same corridor as in the film with the twin girls in the white dresses...
"red rum. red rum". Brrr...

Day 8

So we thought it would be nice to go for a little hike after breakfast to Lake Agnes. It was a little tougher than we imagined as it was a good 3.5 miles each way, and uphill. I was pleased to discover that I am quite fit despite of my job and made it up in an hour. It was worth it - the lake was stunning - it also drained off as a waterfall into a smaller lake below it.

After that 7 mile trek we thought we'd go canoeing on Lake Louise. Unable to just sit in the boat and look pretty, I had to grab an oar and row. It's a lot more difficult than it looks!

Day 9

We were picked up by this lady coach driver who would be driving us to Jasper. She kept on yakking about the highways and the history of the roads. Luckily she wasn't driving for too long. On route to Jasper we stopped off a this place called Icefields Parkway which is actually on a glacier. We all boarded this funny coach on giant wheels which took us down onto the glacier itself and we all romped in the ice and snow like children. Since we had a special designated area to play in, it felt even more like we were in a playpen :) Strange to think that we were standing on some 300 metres of solid ice. On the way back to our highway coachwoman, we were shown these holes in the ice which turned out to be some 300 metres deep. For fun, the people that work out here climb down them......

Our hotel in Jasper was a glorified lodge out in the sticks. We were only due to stay for one night which was a shame as it was pretty funky. Each room is in a cabin of sorts and there is no fencing anywhere in Jasper to keep the wild animals out so all over the hotel there are signs warning about bears, cougars and rampant elk. September is elk mating season thus all the elk bulls are a little more ornery than usual.

Day 10

We were originally supposed to be picked up at 2pm to get onto the VIA rail train which would take us overnight to Vancouver. Unfortunately, we found out at the very last minute that there had been a derailment and that the train was not to be arriving until the next day. We could either wait for the train to arrive and stay another night in Jasper, or alternatively take a special coach back to Vancouver (which would take 12 hours). Hmmm. Tough choice. We called our tour operator to make all the arrangements and decided to relax another day in the hotel (which also had a jacuzzi and outdoor heated pool).

So after relaxing for the day on the lake and in the jacuzzi, we wandered out of our rooms at about 7pm to find some dinner. One of the most surreal things I have ever seen - about 4 metres away from our rooms was an elk bull munching on the grass. Luckily we were on the second floor so we didn't have to worry about it charging at us. We just stared at it chewing away happy as pie. It was most strange.

Day 11

It turned out that the train was due to arrive at 5am and therefore we had to be at the station ready to board at 4-30am. Needless to say I spent a lot of that journey sleeping. It was a 16 hour ride back to Vancouver - never again! I could have made it back in a few hours by plane. Hmph.

Day 12

Did more sightseeing in Vancouver - this time we visited the Capilano Suspension bridge and Grouse Mountain. The bridge is horrible, it's really long and wobbles all over the place when other people are on it. As expected I guess. Being terrified of heights, I hated it.
Grouse Mountain involved taking a gondola up the mountain. At the top, we couldn't see anything as it was a foggy day. However, they had 2 grizzly bears in captivity and also some wolves. We oohed and ahhed at these for a while. Amusingly, the wolves were ex-acting wolves used in films we'd never seen. B-movie wolves in other words :)

Day 13

Decided to visit Vancouver Island. It was a 3.5 hour trip but it was worth it - by the power of the internet I managed to book the hotel the night before for a bargain rate too! We got into Victoria about mid day and booked ourselves on a whale watching excursion for the same afternoon.
I'm getting a little tired of typing now but the whale watching was amazing - we must have seen at least 15 orcas in all - a number of which swam right past the boat about 3 metres away. We learnt that harbour seals are inherently stupid. There they are sat safe, high and dry on a rock. In comes a killer whale, seals start panicking and jump back into the water one by one. Seals get eaten. Now there's darwinian behaviour for you.

Day 14

Back to Vancouver to get ready to go home. Think I may have mixed up my days here but no matter. I'm going to bed now!