My dreams are getting increasingly disturbing of late. Perhaps it's the unusual heatwave we are having, or perhaps I am exhibiting some underlying psychological problems during my sleep.
On Saturday night I had a dream about taxidermy at London Zoo.
On Sunday night I had a dream about the invasion of aliens in the UK. It was very Doctor Who'esque.
On Monday night I had a dream about group fisting. (yes I do mean that kind of fisting) This woke me up in shock and I realised I needed to relieve myself.(obviously I mean peeing) Upon falling asleep again, that dream was followed closely by a dream about an elaborate hoax on me by the company that I work for. It involved my mobile phone being missing, strange stations in the middle of nowhere and people having nails hammered into their foreheads.
Last night I dreamt that I nearly died, twice. The first time I was sitting on a very strange Tube-like train. There were round porthole windows and it was very low so we all had to crouch inside as if we were refugees. We were going past some sort of construction site and I went to make a phonecall, and the second I pressed the button there was an explosion outside. Miraculously, we escaped unscathed.
I'd presumably gotten to my destination as the next thing I know, I am sitting in a very fancy bar with my friend V. We're both knocking back fancy cocktails and trying to ignore the leering stares from some guys sitting on a nearby table. We go to pay, and the bill comes to over £300. On the way outside, I stop and stare up and a huge bit of scaffolding above the doorway. For some reason I am terrified of stepping under it even though lots of people are coming and going with no qualms whatsoever. V motions for me to move along and I do, but the second I step underneath the scaffolding it starts to collapse. V manages to grab my hand and pull me to safety but behind me there are people crushed under a huge pile of metal and wood.
Despite the strange dreams, I haven't had any traumatic experiences to speak of lately. I enjoyed a very relaxing Bank Holiday weekend with my parents in Southend. They live 5 minutes walk from the seafront and it was beautiful sunny weekend. I even went for a 5k training run on Sunday :) Dedicated old me.
Tonight I am off to see Kevin Spacey at the Old Vic in The Philadelphia Story. Let's hope there are no aliens, stuffed animals or tube trains in this play else I'm in trouble again tonight...
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
stupidity
It's a thoughtful Monday morning for me today.
I'm reading the news and wondering about the folly of showing solidarity without thinking.
Subject in question: Gate Gourmet
Staff protests about low pay, holds an impromptu strike, 670 staff gets sacked. Gate Gourmet staff makes even more noise. BA staff then decides to hold a sympathy strike causing BA such grief that they don't want to work with Gate Gourmet any more.
Result? The possibility of Gate Gourmet going into administration. Woohoo, then *everyone* loses jobs. Bravo.
Common sense for breakfast anyone?
I'm reading the news and wondering about the folly of showing solidarity without thinking.
Subject in question: Gate Gourmet
Staff protests about low pay, holds an impromptu strike, 670 staff gets sacked. Gate Gourmet staff makes even more noise. BA staff then decides to hold a sympathy strike causing BA such grief that they don't want to work with Gate Gourmet any more.
Result? The possibility of Gate Gourmet going into administration. Woohoo, then *everyone* loses jobs. Bravo.
Common sense for breakfast anyone?
Night Prayer
Thankyou, to no one in particular
for these happy days, and happy nights
A gentle light casts small shadows in the darker corners of my soul
As I lay back and gaze upon the moon I admire the simplicity of
it's offerings.
In the face of it's incandescence I am reminded of a different era
Yet unable to fathom the feelings it provokes
From sunrise to moonrise I have amnesia
and longer still sometimes.
Thank you, whoever, for the moon and all it represents
May it watch over me always throughout.
for these happy days, and happy nights
A gentle light casts small shadows in the darker corners of my soul
As I lay back and gaze upon the moon I admire the simplicity of
it's offerings.
In the face of it's incandescence I am reminded of a different era
Yet unable to fathom the feelings it provokes
From sunrise to moonrise I have amnesia
and longer still sometimes.
Thank you, whoever, for the moon and all it represents
May it watch over me always throughout.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
run rabbit run
Yesterday I went temporarily insane and registered for this years Nike runlondon event. I have exactly 2 months to train myself to be able to run 10k - which in reality isn't all that much. Except that I haven't done any running since probably 1995. Oops :)
Official training sessions start next week, in the meantime I have to think seriously about solitary training and also perhaps joining a gym.
I've had people wondering why I've suddenly decided to do this. I guess I've been feeling somewhat unmotivated of late. I'm not unhappy but I'm the sort of person who hates to feel unchallenged and this time round I've decided on a physical challenge as opposed to the mental challenges I usually set myself.
The great thing about this is that the deadline is so close that I will be forced to take immediate action - there's no putting it off unless I want to fail miserably. And that's not something I'm likely to allow to happen..
Official training sessions start next week, in the meantime I have to think seriously about solitary training and also perhaps joining a gym.
I've had people wondering why I've suddenly decided to do this. I guess I've been feeling somewhat unmotivated of late. I'm not unhappy but I'm the sort of person who hates to feel unchallenged and this time round I've decided on a physical challenge as opposed to the mental challenges I usually set myself.
The great thing about this is that the deadline is so close that I will be forced to take immediate action - there's no putting it off unless I want to fail miserably. And that's not something I'm likely to allow to happen..
Monday, August 15, 2005
happy birthday blog
Saturday was the 1st birthday of my blog.
By fate or by coincidence, on Saturday I was in an internet cafe in Edinburgh called Dreamcatcher. How strange it would have been, if I had updated my blog on that day in an internet cafe of the same name :)
I am so so tired today. It's been a fantastic but exhausting weekend. The grand finale of my excursion to Edinburgh meant going to bed at 2am only to have to get up at 4am to be able to get to the airport to come back to London and straight into work. I am now operating on backup energy supplies with copious topups of tea. If I drank coffee, I'd probably be on triple espressos.
Still, I only have to survive for another 3 hours and then I can go home to sleep - only my dad is celebrating his birthday today so perhaps bed is further away than I could hope for..
The last three days in Edinburgh have been a blur of walking, drinking and sitting still in various venues trying to broaden my mind on different levels. It was my first experience of the Edinburgh Fringe.
To those who may not know what this is, it is a month long festival held annually in Edinburgh where actors, artists, musicians, comedians, dancers all gather to present their work to the eager public. It's a remarkable event. There are hundreds of shows to choose from, and not enough time in the day to see it all. Promoters roam through the streets in groups, handing out flyers to would-be audience members. "Come and see our show, it's fabulous." Sometimes the cast themselves will do the handing out - "Come and see my show, I'm biased but it's great!" The end of each day turns almost into a ritual of emptying out your bags and pockets of flyers and postcards. There is a lot of drinking. Drinking whilst waiting for the show (goes hand in hand with the queuing), drinking after the show (opportunities to chat about what you've just seen), drinking in between shows (flicking through different programmes and flyers trying to choose new shows to see). Pubs must do a roaring trade this time of year. The whole thing has a studenty feel to it.
In 3 days, I went to see 10 shows and one graveyard tour at the witching hour. Due to my amazing scheduling skills, I managed to fit everything in with time spare for eating and even some sleeping. Highlights:
- Star Wars in 30 minutes: Brilliant rehash of the original trilogy with the most inventive use of props I have seen since the days of Whose Line is it Anyway?
- Gamarjobat A Shut Up Comedy From Japan: Two hilarious japanese mime artists
- La Clique: Unforgettable 'circus' with amazing performers including a male bellydancer who was totally awesome
- Ladyboys of Bangkok: A fantastic cabaret of some totally hot and some totally not thai ladyboys in various tiny outfits strutting their stuff.
- Pupptry of the Penis: Penis origami. Ouch.
By fate or by coincidence, on Saturday I was in an internet cafe in Edinburgh called Dreamcatcher. How strange it would have been, if I had updated my blog on that day in an internet cafe of the same name :)
I am so so tired today. It's been a fantastic but exhausting weekend. The grand finale of my excursion to Edinburgh meant going to bed at 2am only to have to get up at 4am to be able to get to the airport to come back to London and straight into work. I am now operating on backup energy supplies with copious topups of tea. If I drank coffee, I'd probably be on triple espressos.
Still, I only have to survive for another 3 hours and then I can go home to sleep - only my dad is celebrating his birthday today so perhaps bed is further away than I could hope for..
The last three days in Edinburgh have been a blur of walking, drinking and sitting still in various venues trying to broaden my mind on different levels. It was my first experience of the Edinburgh Fringe.
To those who may not know what this is, it is a month long festival held annually in Edinburgh where actors, artists, musicians, comedians, dancers all gather to present their work to the eager public. It's a remarkable event. There are hundreds of shows to choose from, and not enough time in the day to see it all. Promoters roam through the streets in groups, handing out flyers to would-be audience members. "Come and see our show, it's fabulous." Sometimes the cast themselves will do the handing out - "Come and see my show, I'm biased but it's great!" The end of each day turns almost into a ritual of emptying out your bags and pockets of flyers and postcards. There is a lot of drinking. Drinking whilst waiting for the show (goes hand in hand with the queuing), drinking after the show (opportunities to chat about what you've just seen), drinking in between shows (flicking through different programmes and flyers trying to choose new shows to see). Pubs must do a roaring trade this time of year. The whole thing has a studenty feel to it.
In 3 days, I went to see 10 shows and one graveyard tour at the witching hour. Due to my amazing scheduling skills, I managed to fit everything in with time spare for eating and even some sleeping. Highlights:
- Star Wars in 30 minutes: Brilliant rehash of the original trilogy with the most inventive use of props I have seen since the days of Whose Line is it Anyway?
- Gamarjobat A Shut Up Comedy From Japan: Two hilarious japanese mime artists
- La Clique: Unforgettable 'circus' with amazing performers including a male bellydancer who was totally awesome
- Ladyboys of Bangkok: A fantastic cabaret of some totally hot and some totally not thai ladyboys in various tiny outfits strutting their stuff.
- Pupptry of the Penis: Penis origami. Ouch.
Monday, August 08, 2005
*grumble*
Parents can cause such mixed feelings, often ones that change very rapidly.
"So whenever I try and do a search on X Stockbrokers, it always comes back Egg..."
"I don't believe you Mum."
"Oh my god look at your face! Haven't you been moisturing? Your skin looks terrible. You're only 26, not 30."
"Go away mum. No I haven't been moisturising. It's bad, yes."
I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth before my dad hogs the bathroom. Mum is still in there.
"Come here and sit down. I'm going to wash your face for you. It looks terrible."
I sit down and allow myself to have expensive japanese cleanser rubbed on my face. The downside is that I have to listen to her preaching about looking after my skin. The upside is that it's quite comforting, it kind of reminds me of being a little girl again, sitting on the edge of the bath having my face scrubbed. Mum holds my hair back as she commands me to rinse. Then as I'm brushing my teeth she disappears off to find the toner which she insists on rubbing on as well. I feel a little bemused.
As she walks away, job done ("Don't forget to put moisturiser on!") she also mutters on about the state of my complexion. "Looks like your face is going mouldy"
Now totally paranoid about my mouldy face.
phase one - disbelief
"So whenever I try and do a search on X Stockbrokers, it always comes back Egg..."
"I don't believe you Mum."
phase two - discomfort
"Oh my god look at your face! Haven't you been moisturing? Your skin looks terrible. You're only 26, not 30."
"Go away mum. No I haven't been moisturising. It's bad, yes."
phase three - nostalgic
I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth before my dad hogs the bathroom. Mum is still in there.
"Come here and sit down. I'm going to wash your face for you. It looks terrible."
I sit down and allow myself to have expensive japanese cleanser rubbed on my face. The downside is that I have to listen to her preaching about looking after my skin. The upside is that it's quite comforting, it kind of reminds me of being a little girl again, sitting on the edge of the bath having my face scrubbed. Mum holds my hair back as she commands me to rinse. Then as I'm brushing my teeth she disappears off to find the toner which she insists on rubbing on as well. I feel a little bemused.
phase four - dejection
As she walks away, job done ("Don't forget to put moisturiser on!") she also mutters on about the state of my complexion. "Looks like your face is going mouldy"
phase five - paranoia
Now totally paranoid about my mouldy face.
Friday, August 05, 2005
dog daze
Location: On the step of my bedroom doorway
Time: 08:41 this morning
Having totally forgotten to reset the alarm or press the snooze button this morning, I fell back asleep after my alarm went off and drifted into a deep sleep.
Dream:
It's Christmas day. I have just walked into the shower. Mid-shower my brother hammers on the door - "Sis, sis, look at this!"
I open the door. My brother stands there with a bag of berries. "These taste sooo amazing! Try some!". I take the berries and close the door. The shower is still running so I pour the contents of the bag into the bath to wash the berries. I examine them, there are different varieties there and they all look quite unusual. The big red ones in particular look like a strange cross between a raspberry and blackberry. I sample some and my brother is right - they are delicious. I go back to having my shower and am interrupted again by someone banging on the door. It's my mum this time and she wants the berries so I scoop all the berries into the bucket she gives me.
Some time later I wander into the kitchen. My parents are preparing to cook christmas dinner and my mum tells me that we have something good this year.. "This is what I have bought for dinner this year" she tells me. A big white chicken, rather plump looking. And a small white dog. It's adorable. A small puppy that looked a bit like a walking piece of carpet. I watched it moving around, sniffing at people's ankles.
Cut scene to a dining area that I don't recognise. My mum is sitting at a small square table with a checkered tablecloth with 2 english men that I have never seen before. She is talking animatedly to them and pouring wine. I'm wondering who they are. I'm wondering if they are strangers off the street that she has invited for lunch.
Walking back towards to kitchen, I spot the little dog. I pick it up and give it a cuddle. With the sudden realisation that my parents were planning on serving this cute thing on a plate, I start crying and pleading for my mum to leave the dog alone and cook the chicken instead. I wake up from my dream..
Reality:
Sitting in the doorway waiting for J my housemate to brush his teeth so I can have a shower. I tell him about the dog dream.
"That's what happens when you go to bed early."
Time: 08:41 this morning
Having totally forgotten to reset the alarm or press the snooze button this morning, I fell back asleep after my alarm went off and drifted into a deep sleep.
Dream:
It's Christmas day. I have just walked into the shower. Mid-shower my brother hammers on the door - "Sis, sis, look at this!"
I open the door. My brother stands there with a bag of berries. "These taste sooo amazing! Try some!". I take the berries and close the door. The shower is still running so I pour the contents of the bag into the bath to wash the berries. I examine them, there are different varieties there and they all look quite unusual. The big red ones in particular look like a strange cross between a raspberry and blackberry. I sample some and my brother is right - they are delicious. I go back to having my shower and am interrupted again by someone banging on the door. It's my mum this time and she wants the berries so I scoop all the berries into the bucket she gives me.
Some time later I wander into the kitchen. My parents are preparing to cook christmas dinner and my mum tells me that we have something good this year.. "This is what I have bought for dinner this year" she tells me. A big white chicken, rather plump looking. And a small white dog. It's adorable. A small puppy that looked a bit like a walking piece of carpet. I watched it moving around, sniffing at people's ankles.
Cut scene to a dining area that I don't recognise. My mum is sitting at a small square table with a checkered tablecloth with 2 english men that I have never seen before. She is talking animatedly to them and pouring wine. I'm wondering who they are. I'm wondering if they are strangers off the street that she has invited for lunch.
Walking back towards to kitchen, I spot the little dog. I pick it up and give it a cuddle. With the sudden realisation that my parents were planning on serving this cute thing on a plate, I start crying and pleading for my mum to leave the dog alone and cook the chicken instead. I wake up from my dream..
Reality:
Sitting in the doorway waiting for J my housemate to brush his teeth so I can have a shower. I tell him about the dog dream.
"That's what happens when you go to bed early."
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
1:0 me vs the moths
There is some kind of weird moth infestation in my house. On Monday I came home to find 7-8 moths fluttering around in my room. It didn't take that long for them to start annoying me, and despite the risk of moth murder karma, I splatted them all. Yesterday I flattened 3 more, and this morning I murdered one with body spray. Incidentally, that is a bad thing to do as it makes them all sticky and impossible to remove from the wall.
Do I feel bad? Yes I do. However, they should learn to stay out of peoples way. The way that they flap around in random directions and eat my clothes drives me crazy. I can sit at my pc and see them out of the corner of my eye. Ugh.
Course the simple solution could be to arm my room with mothballs. Except I *hate* the smell of mothballs. (Doesn't everybody?) Argh what a dilemma!!
Do I feel bad? Yes I do. However, they should learn to stay out of peoples way. The way that they flap around in random directions and eat my clothes drives me crazy. I can sit at my pc and see them out of the corner of my eye. Ugh.
Course the simple solution could be to arm my room with mothballs. Except I *hate* the smell of mothballs. (Doesn't everybody?) Argh what a dilemma!!
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