Tick tock

I'm sitting at my desk after a night out. It's not late - far too sensible for that these days. Good thing too, as I have a 10am meeting tomorrow morning.

I'm listening to a preview of Madonna's new album. It's great - I must remember to buy it. She is such an inspiration to me. She seems like a totally focussed lady, and I could do to learn from that. I've been sitting idly thinking about my own life, and how I seem to cruise along. I'm not convinced that's the best thing to do. I mean, I have great faith in my instincts, and it's worked for me so far. But I think that time is running out a little and I need to work out what I want from life. Whether it's about careers or relationships, I really think that I've had long enough of just 'trying' things out.

Sometimes I stop and think, shit, at my age (26) my parents had already had me. I was nearly 5 when my mum was 26. I am nowhere near marriage or children. I'm not even convinced that I've found my career in life. It's all very well being a developer and seeming to do very well at it but I'm sure that I wasn't meant for this job. I hate it for a start :)

I keep having these dreams about elephants. In the 3 weeks I've been back from Thailand I've had four dreams about elephants. And every time they are baby ones. My friends have just told me that it means that my biological clock is ticking and that the dreams are overt reminders. This worries me even more :) Whatever can it mean??? Everywhere around me I am getting weird pregnancy omens. Documentaries I watch, movies I see, friends and colleagues. Even tonight, one of my friends announced she was 3 months pregnant. Eek!