When I was in Budapest earlier this year, we visited (it's almost compulsory) the thermal baths. At this particular one we went to, there were some outdoor pools and one of them had a sort of river rapid merry-go-round. Once you joined it, you were swept around with the force of the water and it was hard to leave. When you finally come off, laughing from the exhilaration of it all, you stop and watch the people who are still caught in the current.
Days like this remind me of that. My life is a blur of activity, of allowing myself to be caught in the rush of living. Then finally I step back for a while, and contemplate the place where I have ended up.
Where am I now? My days seem to be an endless array of work, drinks, impromptu culture injections and holidays booked on a whim. I can barely take stock of what I'm really doing, what I really want and where I'm going with it all. I console myself that with all the stuff going on in my personal life, it's ok to take things easy for a while. To enjoy myself. A little voice tells me that it's just an excuse to not have to make any real decisions. I believe that voice.
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