rejuvenation

I am feeling somewhat nostalgic and thoughtful. This often happens when I am forced to think back to the past.

The house is an absolute mess at the moment. The garage has been knocked down so a lot of stuff is floating around indoors. In a moment of idleness I started rummaging around and discovered a box of receipts and letters dating back to 2000. 5 years worth of purchase history. Meals, gifts, tickets to films and musicals. My very first Valentines Cards.

*sigh* 6 years later and where am I now?

I actually feel a lot happier at the moment than I have for quite a long time. Ever since I cut my hair actually, just over a week ago. My hair was halfway down my back. As I sat in the salon arguing about how much to trim off, I realised that what I really wanted was something brand new. The last time I cut my hair that drastically was in 1998. At the very last minute I decided to cut it all off.
It feels good, like shedding an old skin. That hair represented the stress that I had gone through at home, at work. I walked out of the salon feeling shiny and new and totally energised.

This along with my detox, I realised something important. That I wasn't making enough time for myself. At work, I concentrated on my team, on the task. At home I spent most of my time at my boyfriends, or going out. I wasn't looking after myself, physically or mentally. One of the reasons I went on the detox in the first place was to force myself to make time for me-time.

In the last week, I have regained some of self-motivation and independence. I feel like the cloud over me has lifted. I have a great appetite again (much to the relief of my parents who worried constantly about my detox) and feel a bit more like myself.

Maybe there is hope yet.