Life in the slow lane

Now while I am technically still employed, I am on garden leave until 30th April so I actually get paid to sit at home, browse the web and not watch daytime TV. Oh yeah :)

My last week at work was very strange. I wasn't allowed to write any code, told not to do any documentation, so I spent my days having long lunches and websurfing. Having all this time on my hands of course made me think more about my impending future and the uncertainty of it all and I had a momentary panic as I realised that I was heading into a new career without a single qualification or ounce of experience to my name.

Towards the end of last week, I gradually became more sad about leaving. All these people that I had met, worked and joked with for four years. I didn't particularly care about leaving the company, though the money was good. It was all about the friendships that I had built. At my leaving drinks on Thursday night, I was so unbelievably happy as so many people came to wish me goodbye and good luck. Even people who had been relocated to the Angel office travelled back to say hello. It seemed like I knew everyone in the bar, even my colleagues commented to me that it seemed as if the whole bank had turned up. (and so did I when I hit the initial bar tab limit after a mere 90 minutes). It made me so upset to think that I was leaving all of them behind.

So that was it. Friday at 6.30 I said goodbye to my 4 year stint in Finance IT. No more production releases. No more meetings. No more project plans and daily standups.
THANK GOD.

Right now I am sitting, no, lounging on the sofa at home feeling the most relaxed that I have done for a very very long time. That small knot of tension in my chest is noticably absent. I have no real plans for the day, or really for the rest of the week for that matter. I am going to chill out, catch up with friends and probably go back to the gym. Oh, and play Zelda on my new Wii. Man, being unemployed is tough :)

The end and the prologue

Everyone has been asking me for two days how I feel. How I feel now that I've resigned. Relieved? Excited?

And my answer has always been the same - I don't feel any different really to how I did last week. In some ways, I feel less excited because I no longer have the nervousness that I did. The anticipation of having to hand in my notice. Of trying to speculate the reaction of my managers, whether they would make me a counter-offer.

I have been surprised by the reactions I've had so far. My manager, and his manager told me how impressed they were. Impressed with my 'courageous' decision to leave the company with no job to go to - that I was looking to try my hand at something new and totally different, potentially a new career. They were encouraging and positive for me.
My colleagues, a mixture of disbelief (one still thinks I am winding him up), encouragement and maybe a touch of regret. My friends, bless them, have been so positive and proud of me :) My family, a combination I suppose. My dad thinks I'm stupid. My mum is encouraging but concerned about my fragile confidence (she has been warning me about not setting my expectations too high). And my boyfried, well, I'm not really too sure, if I were to be totally honest. I suspect that he is trying to keep me well balanced and level headed by asking me lots of very sensible questions. Sometimes though, I really wish he'd show just a tiny bit of pride, after all, I have just thrown away a very high paying IT job to pursue a career in patisserie! It takes quite a lot of guts to throw away that kind of money and security.

I'm vaguely aware that I feel rather tired. Mentally as well as physically. I think I need a short break to give me some time to think about my next move. To charge myself. Just need to wait until my end date is confirmed - and then there will be a new beginning...