Thursday, August 31, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
an imaginary red flag
I feel so angry. Angry, hurt and disappointed. I can feel the adrenalin bubbling within me, I feel like I want to hit something. Someone.
London is a hard place to live in. The noise, the congestion, all the ingredients that turn the most placid of people into tight balls of stress. I have just come back from a relaxing 4 days in Edinburgh. Getting onto the Tube at Kings Cross was a painful reminder of the things that I left behind last week.
The day before I left for Edinburgh, I got some very bad news from my mum. My brother, who had behaved for 3 months had spent the night before in the casino and lost several hundred pounds. This was a tragic blow. After all we had all done to try to help him - he already has a five digit debt to his name. Some of which I now hold to try and ease his repayments. I felt betrayed and bitterly disappointed in him. In a matter of hours he had undone so much. We put our trust into him to stop and he failed to deliver. What more can we do?
Being hundreds of miles away helped. Watching stand-up comedy helped. But now I am back and I have yet to see him. What will I say? What should I say? Is there any point?
London is a hard place to live in. The noise, the congestion, all the ingredients that turn the most placid of people into tight balls of stress. I have just come back from a relaxing 4 days in Edinburgh. Getting onto the Tube at Kings Cross was a painful reminder of the things that I left behind last week.
The day before I left for Edinburgh, I got some very bad news from my mum. My brother, who had behaved for 3 months had spent the night before in the casino and lost several hundred pounds. This was a tragic blow. After all we had all done to try to help him - he already has a five digit debt to his name. Some of which I now hold to try and ease his repayments. I felt betrayed and bitterly disappointed in him. In a matter of hours he had undone so much. We put our trust into him to stop and he failed to deliver. What more can we do?
Being hundreds of miles away helped. Watching stand-up comedy helped. But now I am back and I have yet to see him. What will I say? What should I say? Is there any point?
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